#so expensive medication was the best option
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PSA- Always quarantine your new fish, mutuals.
See the tags for a lovely late night rant because I’m stressed the fuck out 💃🏾
#I have a lovely 20 gallon tank in my room#it has kuhli loaches and shrimp and otocinclus#a clown poach I never see named Marvin#and two peacock gudgeons#one of which I got recently#one that I should have quarantined but didn’t because I’m lazy and didn’t think I’d need to#because I’ve never had issues with not quarantining fish before#but I got this fish from work and we’ve been dealing with ich#and I realized the day after I got her that the tank she came from had mollys that were infected 🙃#a couple days later she has it too#for those that don’t know#ich is a VERY contagious parasite in fish#and it will eventually kill your fish if left untreated#I’ve never dealt with it before so I’m stressed tf out and just spent almost the last of my money for a top recommended medication#to tray and treat it#I could have gotten a cheaper brand but#I don’t want to risk killing any of my more sensitive fish and my shrimp because I will cry if that happens#I could treat it by turning up the temperature in my tank to like 86 degrees f#but that could ALSO potentially kill my fish/shrimp#so expensive medication was the best option#I’ve been thinking about just taking this tank down tbh#I feel like there’s always something going wrong with it from this to filters breaking to a snail infestation#but I’m not giving up yet#unless something dies#then I’ll be giving up on it 🥲#tag rant#personal#fish keeping#I meant clown loach* not poach
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We might be Forced to evacuate to for the 7th time!
We're leaving for the seventh time .. For the seventh time .. I'll have to convince a three year old and a one year old that we have to leave again, and what resembles a home we tried our best to provide to protect their childhood and make them toys and a swing in a tent they'll have to leave agian ! We spent almost all our savings and money on basic nessesities .. Now we worry about even transportation costs. Please help us survive this madness. PLEASE Donate and share Forever Indebted to All of you ! Verified by @el-shab-hussein Here
This has been Rokayah in eid and the other was her thank you letter she wrote you all 💖 We'll be leaving all of this behind
I am Firas Salem, a Software Engineer from Gaza and a father of two young children, almost 3 and 1. I would give my family the stars in the sky if they asked me to and I worked so hard so I can provide them with a happy life. I am the sole provider for my parents and younger siblings, making us a family of 11.
. We are living in extremely difficult conditions in Gaza, barely surviving in a cramped tent and mostly we'll be evacuating soon. . We urgently need to get out, and our only option is to reach Egypt, which costs $5,000 per person.
. Your donations can help us escape and cover essential life and medical expenses here in Gaza and in Egypt until we can start over. Please consider supporting us during this critical time. Thank you.
Please Please Help Share and Donate It's been a while ,I feel things changed here,please help me share this post . Thanks alot my friends I hope someday I can thank each one of you ! And I hope one day I can pay it forward !
Vetted or added to lists Here: #111 @el-shab-hussein list Here - #4 @fallahifag list Here @blackpearlblast list Here - @communistchilchuck list Here #1 @riding-with-the-wild-hunt list Here @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc list Here @kordeliiius list Here ___________________________________________ @ibtisams Here ,@fairuzfan Here , @palipu Here , @brutaliakhoa Here
#gaza genocide#gaza#all eyes on gaza#free gaza#gaza strip#gazaunderattack#gazaunderfire#rafah#go fund them#gaza solidarity encampment#gaza under siege#help gaza#news on gaza#north gaza#rafah gaza#stand with gaza#war on gaza#fuck israel#save gaza#palestine genocide#free rafah#free palestine#all eyes on rafah#mutual aid#aid for gaza#mobility aid#palestine aid#humanitarian aid#donation post#fundraising
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Best creepy roommate is absolutely dottore because like. You cut him so much slack because he pays far more of his share of the rent than he should, and he helps you avoid the hundred dollar doctor visits by taking a quick look at you whenever you're seeing double and sweating up a storm. He even lets you eat whatever he scrounges for meals, as long as you take care of the shopping. He's got a lot of benefits.
So just... Keep ignoring all the shit he brings home from work. Ignore the samples he keeps in the countertop freezer (that you INSISTED he buy after you nearly drank a bio sample instead of your milkshake). Ignore that he really shouldn't be dealing with paperwork where you can see it (isn't that a breach of privacy, or something?). ESPECIALLY ignore the concerning terms you sometimes see scrawled out. Death_of_child is totally innocuous in programming, right...? It's probably... Probably similar in the medical field, too. It's fine. It's totally fine. It has to be fine, because you don't have any other options.
modern au dottore my beloved,,, he'd just be the most unhinged, sleep deprived medical student with the sketchiest internship and the weirdest ""homework"" you've ever seen. honestly, you're not even sure why he needs a roommate at all when he pays 95% of the rent and the bulk of your food/utility bills, but it probably has something to do with the liter or so of blood he asks you to ""donate"" every couple of weeks, or the hidden cameras you'll find littered around your living spaces every so often. you're pretty sure you're part of some fucked up case study thesis paper, but housing is expensive and you really can't afford to have a full-time job while you're still in school, so you just kinda have to put up with occasionally letting him mix his ""supplements"" into your coffee and try not to let his evil cackling keep you up too late at night. it's not even necessarily a yandere situation, he's just like that in every universe.
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the one thing I am full-bore conspiracy theorist about?
daily contact lenses
or, well, not their existence, period. they're a valid health option that is best for some people, medically. but the sheer aggressiveness with which they're being pushed nowadays
the last few times I went to the eye doctor for my annual check-up, she was HEAVILY on my case to switch to dailies. like, to the point of arrogance and condescension when I said I preferred to stick with monthlies (I've worn contacts since I was 12, for reference). I also posted about it on a forum and got massive negativity in response, as well as being talked down to by someone claiming to be an optometrist himself
now if this were like...anti-vaxxer sentiment I'd understand that reaction. but from what I've heard, while monthlies do carry a higher risk of eye infections and such, they're not medically unsound or unsafe across the board. I'm willing to accept that risk, and since science has not found that they're terrible and should immediately be discontinued, I feel like my wishes should be respected and not belittled
point two: plastic waste. they say it's somehow less than using monthlies, but frankly I just don't see how that's possible. 365 of those little eye chips- times two! -and their packaging, add up to less than a case and a bottle of solution every few months, plus 24 contacts and their packaging? it doesn't make sense to me, and it doesn't help that I mostly see contact lens websites repeating this "fact." of course all contacts produce plastic waste, and I'd be perfectly willing to accept this as one of those You Have To Consume; You Just Decide What Areas Of Your Life Are Optimal For Minimization of Waste And What Aren't things, if dailies weren't being pushed so hard
(also I found two studies showing that monthly-replacement soft lenses produce less plastic waste than daily disposables. which, like. yes, this should be obvious, but here we are. granted, that's only two, and both studies emphasize that dailies and their accoutrements can be recycled, but see below)
some big companies have "contact recycling programs" but like. who's to say that's not greenwashing? where's the oversight? where are the investigations into what these programs actually DO? god knows we've been there before with recycling and corporations trying to pull the nylon-poly-blend Vegan Wool(TM) over our eyes
they're also more expensive than monthlies, which like. does not lend a positive slant to optometrists pushing them so stridently
on top of that, I and some other monthly users have noted that our contacts aren't lasting as long as they used to. for me, it was 17-18 years of smooth sailing with barely any problems, and as of like a year ago my contacts barely last two weeks without clouding up, ripping, chipping at the edges, causing my vision to blur, becoming uncomfortable...my brand did change around that time, so I hope it's just that, and the sample size of other monthly users I've pooled is VERY small. but it sure seems interesting that they suddenly started pushing a product that doesn't last long enough for people to notice low quality, around the time that at least some users of the longer-lasting version start having problems
you're pooh-poohing all of my concerns- which are indeed backed up by science, it seems! -with a "fix" that relies on big companies being honest about recycling, to push me from a non-ideal but still medically sound option to another that makes you more money?
I'm normally a pretty grounded person but I'm full-on tinfoil hat about this one
#contact lenses#conspiracy theories#I mean is 'corporations will screw you over for more money' really a conspiracy theory at this point?
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hi! im 15 with awfully heavy periods and my parents + doctors (gyno, therapist, etc) think its necessary for me to get a marina (hormone implants in your vagina i think, im too scared to look it up if im being honest.) the problem is that im really opposed to it because i dont want anyone touching me downstairs, and my auntie said it would really hurt.
do you think i should get it, probably be really distressed for a few weeks but be fine with my period for the next handful of years, or keep looking for less invasive options that might be more expensive and less effective?
thanks!
hello there! thank you for your question!
so, first off, I'm just going to say that your body is yours and you get to make the decisions about what happens with it. if you don't want a Mirena implant, that's your decision and you have every right to make that choice, end of.
I do think it's valuable to have a full sense of what exactly you're saying no to, so if it's okay I would like to do a little walkthrough of the information about the IUD that you've been avoiding looking into. I'm gonna do my best to make it unscary, I promise.
Mirena IUDs are placed in the uterus, hence the name; "IUD" stands for intrauterine device.
there it will decrease chances of pregnancy by releasing small amounts of levonorgestrel. this will cause thickening of the mucus in your cervix (the space between your vagina and uterus) to make it harder for sperm to ever reach and egg and thinning of the lining of your uterus to make it harder for any fertilized eggs to attach there and grow into a pregnancy.
menstruation happens when your body rids itself of unused uterine lining, which is why many people find their periods are lighter when they have an IUD - less lining ideally equals less blood, less cramping, and less pain overall.
usually, this decrease in period intensity happens after 3 months of having an IUD in place. some people with IUDs - about 20%, certainly not a majority but not an insignificant number - stop having a period entirely after a year or more.
once an IUD is put in place, it's good for up to eight years, although it can be taken out any time earlier than that if you want it removed sooner.
common side effects experienced by people with IUDs are similar to what many people experience on their periods: headaches, acne, sore breasts, cramping, and emotional irregularities. bleeding for the first few months is also common; many find that their bleeding will be worse before it gets better.
it's also uncommon, but not impossible, for your IUD to slip out of place. there are several risk factors that make this more likely, including youth (under the age of 20), having long and difficult periods, and if you've been pregnant.
in regards to your worry about pain during implantation, it's not unreasonable. very few people that I know of would describe the process as particularly comfortable, and it's very painful for some. while the trade off of brief discomfort for 8 years of instant birth control can certainly be worth it for some, it's ultimately a personal decision and up to you to weigh the pros and cons to decide what's best for you.
if you're interested in seeking out other forms of medical intervention for your periods, there are plenty of other forms of hormonal birth control to look at. a similar method worth comparing would be the hormonal implant that goes in your arm and lasts for three years; it's obviously not as long-lasting but can provide similar benefits without requiring anyone to touch your genitalia.
I hope this helps.
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this night together - chapter one (j.yh + s.mg)
chapter one: a safe place to land
summary: you're finally getting your dream job, working with some of the best dancers in the business, but a job change means a break in your healthcare coverage and suppressants these days are expensive. going into heat at the studio pretty much seems like the worst case scenario, but you find yourself in the care of two alphas who won't let you go through it alone. note: reader and the boys are not idols in this fic, but instead are part of the bb trippin dance crew. the idol group mentioned in the fic's name is 'new world' which was one of the early options for ateez's name, and i just thought that was cute. overall though, i know very little about dancing and choreography. i did my best to research what that field might be like, but please know there are likely inaccuracies. also.... i have no idea how healthcare coverage with jobs work in korea and my research wasn't too helpful. we're going with what i know which is often a ninety day waiting period before you get health coverage at a new job, which means reader here cannot afford her medication out of pocket. go with it, for me ♡
warnings: just.... so much smut including: heat, nesting, knotting, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, big dick yunho, implied breeding kink (it's omegaverse so ya know), gratuitous praise to make reader feel better, lots of pet names, lots of heat symptoms like cramps, slick, and insatiable horniness.
pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader
genre: smut, abo/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory
word count: 13.6K
next chapter | AO3
The first sign is the headache, a low, dull throb at the back of your skull. It’s not a full-blown migraine yet, but it might become one and that’s your first indication that your heat is close. You’ve done your suppressant rationing and your bargaining and your plotting and planning, but in the end it’s going to come down to luck if you can make it through the recording.
You had asked the company about their heat leave policy in the most casual way that you could, still new enough to KQ that it seemed natural for an omega to be asking. You don’t know why you were surprised, but as always the policy is disappointing. Full health coverage only after ninety days of employment, and until then not only are your suppressants not covered any heat leave is fully unpaid.
You had studied your cycle calendar in detail and tried to map out the dates, but no matter how you drew it or cut up the last of your suppressants to try and extend the effects, your heat was going to fall on or around your first real performance. And it’s not like you’re an idol, it’s not like the camera will be focused on you, but the idea of letting your new crew down two months into being here is too fucked a thought to entertain.
Your throat feels dry after the first run through of the routine, unnaturally so, a tight cough building in the back of your throat as you try to hold it together. The minute the music fades you’re falling out of formation before anyone else and covering your mouth with your elbow, coughing dryly into your sleeve.
“You good?” San asks from his place next to you.
“Mhm,” You nod tightly, but the cough is lodged in your throat, “I just need to,”
A bottle of water is pushed into your hand and you nod in thanks, unscrewing the cap fast and knocking it back, letting the cold water soothe your throat.
“Are you sick, y/n?” San crosses his arms to appraise you better, ducking his head and getting a good look at you.
“No, no,” You take a deep breath now that you can and shake your head, “just dry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to slow us down.”
“Let’s take five,” Yunho announces from the front.
You take another sip of water and the group starts to break apart. The cool bottle keeps you grounded and as far from anxiety as you can possibly get with the knowledge of this hanging over you.
“You good?” Yujin, one of the few other female BB Trippin dancers, asks, her chest heaving as she jogs up to you.
“Yeah, yeah,” You assure her, “I just need a minute,”
She squeezes your shoulder before moving past you, and you lean back against the wall nearby before taking a deep breath. Your eyes go unfocused towards the mirror as you collect yourself, drinking more water and hoping that no one’s upset with the delay. You’re still new here, but so far you’ve been accepted into the fold well, only a few of the dancers more aloof, so focused on the work you haven’t had a chance to try and make friends. You hope they aren’t upset at your sudden need for a break right on the first run through on the big day. You feel hot eyes on you, and you focus, catching Minseok in the mirror. He’s always pleasant and polite, but never overly friendly, and when you catch his gaze momentarily you see that his jaw is tight and his throat jumps like a spasm as he swallows and averts his eyes from yours.
Your brow knits in confusion, but Yunho appearing next to you breaks the brief moment of concentration and you turn towards him.
His eyes are soft, but his face is still serious and wired into work, “You sure you’re good?”
“Definitely,” You protest, “really,”
He chews the inside of his lip for a moment before adjusting the cap on his head and holding out a little bottle of pills, “Your head?”
“How did you know?” You thought you were good at concealing it.
“You keep wincing when I put the high lights on,” He nods up towards the fluorescents, “migraine?”
“A little one,” You assure him, you know he’s got to be worried about you dropping out of formation right before recording, “but I got this,”
As the lead choreographer and director of today’s stage performance, he’s been on edge this week. He’s so incredibly focused on the finer details down to every precise placement, finger extension, facial expression. You’ve been a dancer for a long time, and you’ve worked behind idol groups before, but not like this. The atmosphere here is different, and working with New World doesn’t feel like backup dancing at all. And for Yunho, it’s become clear to you over the past couple of months that while he isn’t the boss, he is the leader here and he takes that responsibility incredibly personally.
But despite all that pressure and responsibility, he surprises you when he smiles at your admission, “I get them sometimes. Do you get auras?”
You shake your head.
“I do,” He offers you the bottle again, “it sucks, but you know, the light sensitivity is always the worst thing,”
You take the bottle and tip the migraine medication out into your palm, “Yeah,”
“Are you sure you don’t need to tap out?” He offers, voice a little softer so that it’s a conversation just between you, “I know you don’t want to, but I can’t have you falling on stage,”
“No, honestly, I wouldn’t put the team in that position,” You look up, trying your best to convey with your eyes that you can make it, even though the low throb in your skull says otherwise.
“Okay,” He nods once, “I just had to ask. Are you ready?”
“Ready,”
“Alright,” He takes a step away and moves back towards the main part of the room. This time he doesn’t adjust the lights, he keeps the room low lit and calm and he claps as he turns back to the room at large, “Let’s run it again. We have an hour before the van gets here, and then from there it’s go time. We ready?”
A chorus of yes echoes back, and you lend your voice to the mix, shaking off the pounding in your brain. You can do this. You can. Wooyoung punches your arm softly as he walks by you to get to his starting position, flashing you a smile and an encouraging nod. With a deep exhale you let it go, and you get to work.
By the time you finish the third run through, your muscles are screaming, but you’ve managed to hold the rest tightly in. The migration medication seems to be helping, and though you can sense Yunho continuing to glance at you in the mirror he seems pleased that you’re keeping up. You just need to make it through this day, and then you can let it all fall apart.
With a glance at your watch, the hour now up, you realize just how much more time there is to get through. It’s only six in the morning, the earliest you’ve had to get up and be ready for this job yet. You’ve been told that if you’re ever a supporting dancer for a comeback stage it will be even earlier, two or three to accommodate pre-recording time. For this though, you’re not filming a comeback stage. You’ll get to the studios alongside New World at around seven-thirty, spend at least an hour or two getting ready in the green room, and then from there it will be a waiting game, and you don’t really know how a show like this will go. Music shows are a well oiled machine of time management, but this type of larger long program for their survival show stage is something you just aren’t used to.
You just have to, without question, make it back home, but that might be eight hours from now or twelve, and that level of uncertainty makes your stomach churn.
On the bus you take stock. Sore muscles, dry throat, ever so slight cramping in your back, bubbling migraine, fatigue. You’re not yet feeling the waves of hot flashing blush or deep, burgeoning cramps, but it’s not too far off. It feels like at the very least the quarter suppressant you choked down this morning might be doing just enough to mask the scent of your pre-heat, and that’s the best you can do. At least for now, no one’s noticed how close you are to the edge. No one, except possibly Wooyoung.
“Here,” He says from his seat next to you, offering you a lozenge from a bag, “for your throat,”
You stare for a second at the offering before your brain fires and you accept one with quiet thanks. Omegas often keep cooling lozenges around for their heat and pre-heat, something to take the edge off the soreness and dryness and it doesn’t surprise you that the only one attuned to your slight discomfort is another omega.
“You can keep the bag,” He places it on your lap, “if you need it,”
“I’m good,” You pass it back, not wanting to admit how close you really are, “like I said, just dry,”
“Okay,” He nods, and then he lets the subject lie, “are you ready for today?”
“Yeah,” You swallow tightly, “nervous, but yeah,”
“Mm,” He grins, relaxing back into his seat, “it’s fun, I promise,”
“Yeah?”
“When you see it all come together on the monitors,” He nods, “it just makes it all worth it,”
“All the work, you mean?” You can’t help but glance up the length of the bus, to where Yunho sits alongside San and Mingi, all talking quietly and seriously amongst themselves.
“Yeah,” He nods, “you’ve been working a lot of nights too, catching up,”
“I just don’t want me being new to be the reason it’s not perfect,” You reply with ease.
“That’s good,” Wooyoung says, “and I promise if you weren’t nailing it, you’d know by now.”
“Would I?”
“You wouldn’t be sitting here,” Wooyoung nods towards the front, “Mingi would have cut you ages ago,”
“Mingi?” He’s been nothing but nice, flirty, and funny. He’d been helping you out at night to get better, you thought so that Yunho and San didn’t have an inkling that you’re behind.
“His opinion is the one that matters,” Wooyoung laughs, whispering to you so the rest of the bus can’t hear, “have you not picked up on that yet?”
You shake your head slowly.
“y/n,” Wooyoung smiles as he realizes just how clueless you are, “Yunho would recommend we all stop drinking water if Mingi said it was a good idea. Mingi trusts his gut, and Yunho trusts Mingi,”
“Oh,” You breathe.
“Yep,”
“What about Jaemin?” You ask softly. You’ve only met the actual crew leader a few times here and there, but most of the time he’s not at the studio itself.
“He keeps the work coming and the doors open,” Wooyoung says, “but they keep us moving.”
You let his words sink in, the reality that for weeks you’ve been working side by side with Mingi and confessing all your fears of inadequacy, that he was the person who had to approve of you all along and you never knew it. You sigh, “Are you just trying to hype me up, or are you being serious?”
“I don’t lie.” He says, full stop, no room for misinterpretation.
The menthol lozenge burns a little on your tongue, but soothes the cut feeling in the back of your throat when you swallow and you find that finally for the first time all night you’re able to really exhale. With a soft nod you turn to him, “Okay,”
“Okay?”
“Let’s fucking do this,”
He grins, “After this stage you’re officially one of us, you know,”
Your eyes narrow, “You said that after my first week,”
He rolls his eyes, “Okay, maybe I lie a little,”
For the afternoon, with the lightness of Wooyoung by your side, you forget about your headache. The day happens fast, even with all the sitting and waiting in green rooms. There’s so much to remember, from camera positions to where the light is coming from, to how to adapt to the stage floor being just a little smaller than what you were working with back at KQ. The members seem suddenly focused in a way you’ve never experienced, you know what this means to them. To all of you. By the time it’s filming, you’ve had at least six lozenges and taken two more painkillers for your migraine to keep it at bay, and you're starting to feel exhausted. You film it twice, from two angles. Wide for choreography and tighter close ups on the members for cinematic facial expressions and intricacies of movement.
When it’s all over and you pile back into the van, your legs feel heavy and disconnected. If you can just make it back to the studio, you can change and call an Uber and get inside before it knocks you sideways.
Someone suggests drinks, someone else suggests a celebratory meal.
You want nothing more than for the van to speed up.
You grip your hand tight and breathe through the tight sensations in your body and no one ever notices a thing, not even Wooyoung who seems caught in the euphoria of the performance, your quietness blissfully overlooked for the moment.
At the studio, it takes time for the locker room to clear out after the show, everyone else riding on the high of the performance too and slow to pack up for the night. It had gone so well, despite the way you had to push through the pain. As the pain worsens, you’re not sure how you’re going to get home, but you know you need to figure it out soon. You can maybe call one of your roommates, but on a Friday night it feels unlikely that they’ll be available or sober enough to get you.
A cramp ripples through you, and you grip down on the wooden bench, your leg bouncing to try and distract you from the waves of sensation washing over you. It’s been years since your last heat, and you can already tell this is going to be hard and heady. Sweat is collecting on your brow, waves of uncomfortable warmth passing through your body, and you can feel the way your breath is tightening. You really don’t have long, a matter of hours maybe, but it’s obvious to anyone who looks at you what’s going on.
You fish your phone out of your bag and scan through your contacts, blinking hard to try and clear your blurring vision. The phone keeps ringing, first one of your roommates, then another, and when you hit their voicemail boxes for the second time, your phone slips from your fingers in frustration. Tears prick the back of your eyes, your hands shaking. You really thought you had more time.
A noise across the locker room startles you, the heavy metal clang of a locker closing and you realize someone’s still in here with you. You’re trembling, a mix of abject panic and pain, your omega surfacing inside you in a way that you can’t control. Footsteps come closer, and though you’re still shielded by a row of lockers and can’t see him, you can smell him. Rich, cocoa and cinnamon.
Mingi walks past your section of lockers, and you hope he won’t notice, but you’re never, ever that lucky.
“Hey,” He says when he catches sight of you, “you did good tonight,”
You keep your eyes away from his, curling down further to tug at the laces of your shoes and hope that he doesn’t notice the way you’re clenching your jaw to keep from crying, “Thanks,”
“Yeah,” He says, and you hear his steps shift and then pause.
Your eyes press closed as you hide behind the curtain of your hair.
“y/n,” Mingi asks, “are you okay?”
“Mhm,” You pull your laces tight, your insides cramping painfully as your body registers the presence of an alpha.
“Are you sure?” He asks.
Biting down on the inside of your cheek you steady your voice, “Yeah, I’m good, just tired.”
Mingi doesn’t answer, doesn’t move, and there’s really only so long you can pretend to tie your shoes. You tug your other laces taut and then do your best, leaning back up into a normal sitting position despite the pained pressure inside you. You grip down on the bench again and breathe slowly through your nose.
“Are you hurt?” Mingi asks, concern evident in his voice, “Did you pull something?”
You shake your head, you can’t trust your words.
“Something’s wrong,” Mingi takes a step forward and you jolt back, sliding off the edge of the bench with a tight sound, your back connecting hard with the lockers behind you. His eyes widen at your sudden movement and you hold a hand out to keep him right where is.
“Stop,” You plead, body shaking, “don’t,”
“You are hurt,” He can feel your fear, and his eyes are panicked as he scans your body, “what happened?”
“It’s not,” You sigh, shaking your head, another hot flash making your cheeks light up with blush and cutting your words.
When he takes another step forwards you watch his face change, the way his breathing settles low into his chest as he regards you and comprehension starts to relax his face. Your eyes press closed as another cramp ripples through your abdomen, and suddenly you feel the first rush of slick.
“Fuck,” Mingi says, “what are you doing here?”
“Working,” You groan, opening your eyes again.
“You should be on heat leave,” He shakes his head, “you should be home,”
“I know,” You nod, your throat growing tight and tears bubbling back up, “I-I asked, but it would have been unpaid, and with the performance… I couldn’t afford to not be here. I thought I had a little more time,”
“Okay,” He steps a little closer and you shake your head, pressing your body back further against the lockers as if that will do anything, “it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know that,” You laugh humorlessly, “but right now your scent is making this harder,”
“Oh,” He swallows hard, “I didn’t mean to,”
“Mingi,” You meet his gaze and his eyes soften, “I need help,” You wish you didn’t have to ask. You wish you had just stayed home, not rationed your suppressants, and just handled this on your own.
He nods, straightening up and swallowing hard, “Okay, let’s go,”
“Go?” You watch as he picks up your bag and slings it over his shoulder with his own.
“Can you walk?” He holds a hand out to you, an offering and nothing more if you want it.
“Yeah,” You stammer, pushing yourself off the lockers, but one step already has you shaky and you grip his hand and let him hold your weight to keep you standing.
“Alright,” He shakes his head, “I’m sorry, just hold your breath or something,”
His arm wraps around your back, pulling you up and supporting your weight with a sure hand on your forearm and with his help, you take a step. His scent is dizzying, equal parts calming and arousing, and tears roll down your cheeks as you try to keep quiet and hold it together. Slick pools between your thighs and you’re sure he can smell it, but he’s doing a good job of saying nothing about it to you.
“W-where are we going?” You manage as he pushes the door to the locker room open and steers you out into the dimly lit hallway of the dance studio.
“We need to get Yunho,” He says with ease, like it’s obvious and poses absolutely no problem.
At the thought of him, your body clenches and you bite down to keep a tight, pained sound inside. “No, Mingi, he can’t,”
“We’re past that point,” Mingi is all but dragging you now, “I need his help, I can’t get you home by myself.”
Yunho’s the only one with a car between them, not the mention a driver’s license. Mingi typically hitches a ride with him or using the subway, and at this stage in your heat, it’s not safe to take public transportation or put you in a taxi. There are too many variables, too many people you don’t know, and you need someone you trust to get you to a safe location to ride this out. The idea of Yunho tears your body in two, caught between the feeling of wanting him and never wanting him to know about this, but you know he’s safe, that safe place.
There’s a light still on in the office at the end of the hall where you know Yunho is going through footage from the day and making notes while things are still fresh in his mind. When you’re close enough to the door but still safely in the hall, Mingi calls out, “Yunho!”
“Yeah?” He shouts back, and you can hear the distraction in his voice, a clear picture of him writing something down as he calls over his shoulder.
“I need your help,” Mingi adjusts his grip on you, holding you close as your body trembles in his arms, “like right now,”
“Uh,” Yunho trails off, “yeah, okay, yeah, I’m coming.” You hear Yunho jump up from the chair in the office, his quick footsteps, and another wave of fear flutters through you.
“Mingi,” You grip down on his hand.
“Right, fuck,” He remembers himself, tucking you closer to his chest, “slowly,”
“What?” Yunho’s voice comes from the office but you can see his shadow on the floor in the hall as he gets closer to the door.
“Yunho!” Mingi’s voice is deep, clear and firm and you let your head rock back on his shoulder, “Slowly, seriously,”
He’s not distracted anymore, he’s incredibly alert. Yunho steps into the hallway slowly, just as directed when he hears the tenor of his best friend’s voice, and it takes him seconds to size up what’s going on.
“y/n,” He takes a half step forward and stops himself, arm outstretched, “oh no,”
His soft tone soothes you instantly but it doesn't help the emotional live wire you feel like you’re walking, and a little sob bubbles out of you, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”
“You’re in heat,” He says, shaking his head, “it’s not safe for you to be here, why are you here?”
Your omega shrinks and more tears spill over, the wave uncontrollable now, “I’m sorry, please,”
Yunho’s eyes flick to Mingi’s before he comes closer, reaching out for you, “I’m not upset,”
Relief washes through you, “You’re not?”
“No,” He assures you, his voice dropping to a warm and even tone, “I’m just worried about you, I want you safe. Come here,”
You comply instantly, stepping out of Mingi’s hold and straight into Yunho’s arms, letting him tuck you close into his chest before he adjusts his stance and brings your face up to the crook of his neck. His scent washes over you like a salve, nothing but warm rain and fresh cut cedar.
“Shh,” He soothes you, running a hand down your back, “there we go, take a deep breath,”
For a minute, it feels like your cramps have passed, your head clearing. He grounds you and brings you back into your body with his touch and you breathe low and slow, your hands gripping his shirt.
“Okay,” Yunho murmurs, “what’s your heat plan? We can take you and get you there safe,”
You shake your head into his neck, nuzzling closer to his skin, “I don’t really have one,”
“What do you mean?” He asks, clearly not understanding.
“You can take me home,” You tell him, eyes drifting closed, “I usually can take care of things myself,”
“That’s insane,” Mingi says from behind you both, and you feel Yunho’s hands tighten on your back.
“Who’s there with you?” Yunho asks, “Don’t you have roommates?”
You nod, resting on his shoulder, “Mhm,”
“y/n,” He prompts you, “what are their designations?”
“Mm,” You’re feeling so warm wrapped in his scent, “Ari and Hyejin are betas, Hyunwoo is an alpha but he’s probably out tonight,”
“Tonight,” Yunho shakes his head, “you go through heats like this with an alpha home?”
“Not like this,” You mumble into his chest and he shifts you in his arms.
“What did you say?”
“Not a heat like this,” You manage, “I’m normally on pretty heavy suppressants,”
“She can’t go home like this,” Mingi says, “this is still just pre-heat,”
“I think so,” Yunho’s voice sounds far away, and you sink into the steady sound of his heart and the feeling of his hand smoothing a comforting line up and down your back. When he finally speaks again, his voice is so tender you almost don’t recognize it, “Can we bring you home? Let me help, you can’t go through a heat this hard by yourself,”
“Yunho,” You shudder against him, “we can’t,”
The thought of his cock inside you flashes through your brain, and you imagine the feeling of his swollen knot locking in, your body full and sated and the cramps dissipating. Your core throbs at the idea and you feel another rush of slick rush through you.
“You’re in pain,” He murmurs, dropping his head a little lower, “you need an alpha. Let me take care of you, let me take you home,”
You should say no, you should take your chances in your apartment with your box of toys and a bottle of lube, but you keep breathing in his steady scent and all you can do is say yes. Yunho’s been kind to you since the beginning, taking care of you for weeks even if he didn’t really know it, and he can take care of you now too if you just let him.
“We’ll take care of you,” Mingi cuts in, offering his help softly, “and make sure you’re safe until it’s over,”
“Are you sure?” You pull back from Yunho’s neck, leaning heavily on his chest still.
He cups your cheek in his broad hand, bringing your eyes up to his, and nods, “Positive, and if you don’t,” he swallows hard tries to find the right words, “if you don’t want to have sex we can figure something out, but you need a place that’s private, and you need to be with more experienced alphas who know how to keep their hands to themselves.”
They’re not wrong. You just have to trust them. You just have to let go.
Your body makes the decision for you, the way your aching and throbbing is soothed just being between them, and you let your mind follow.
“Okay,” You sigh, leaning into his hand, “yes,”
“Alright,” He sighs, “don’t worry about a thing, okay? We’ll get you home.” Yunho’s thumb rubs a soothing pattern into the soft gland at your wrist and it relaxes you further. He looks over you for a moment, “Mingi, I need you to take her for a minute, I’ll get the car.”
When Yunho steps away, just to try and pass you back to Mingi, the lack of contact strikes panic through you and you shake your head, “No, no, don’t go,”
“It’s not for long,” He assures you, his hands sliding down your arms as he separates from you slowly, “I’ll be back in 5 minutes,”
A panicked whine leaves your throat and your mind spins, “Don’t leave me!”
“Hey,” He soothes you but you don’t respond, all you know is he’s leaving and you’ll be without him and the thought makes your body clench. “y/n, hey, y/n,” He tries again but you’re shaking your head. “Omega.” His voice roots you to the spot.
Mingi’s hands close over you gingerly from behind, and Yunho nods as your panicked noises stop, “Okay, see?” He says, “Listen to me, omega, I’m not going far. You won’t be alone, Mingi’s right here. I’ll be back in five minutes, and then I won’t leave you again, okay?”
“Okay,” You lean back into Mingi, and let his touch keep you warm.
Yunho nods and then keeps his eyes on you as he moves back to the office, darting out of your eye line for a moment. You can hear him grabbing his things; the zip of his bag, the jingle of his keys, and the lights flick off before he jogs back out.
“Here,” He says, holding out his jacket, “put this on,”
Mingi takes it from his hands, and eases it onto you. When you pull the jacket up, his scent washes over you again and you sigh.
“Better?” Yunho asks.
“Mhm,” You murmur, and tucked into the warmth of Mingi’s chest with their combined scents easing you, you can breathe. You keep your eyes closed, but you hear when Yunho walks out the front door and your body clenches a little, but you take a deep breath in.
“Mingi,” You finally say, looking up at him, “thank you for not leaving me,”
“Hey,” He shakes his head, “I was never going to leave you there,”
You nod, twisting in his arms so you can tuck your face into his chest and let his arms wrap fully around you, “I’m sorry,” you sigh, “I’m not usually such a touchy person,”
He chuckles, smoothing your hair with his hand, “It’s okay, I like it,”
“And Yunho?”
“Oh,” Mingi laughs, “he’s a cuddler, don’t worry.”
Your stomach cramps and you groan into his chest, “God,” you grip him, “I forgot how much this hurts,”
“How long has it been?” Mingi shifts his grip so that more of your weight is supported, “You know, since your last real heat?”
“Years,” You tell him honestly, “they’ve been so much easier on suppressants,”
“Mm,” Mingi nods above you, “when this hits it’s going to be intense,”
“Have you helped a partner through heat before?”
“I have,” Mingi says, “but Yunho hasn’t,”
“Oh,” You have no idea why Yunho offered himself up immediately like he had done it a thousand times before if he’s never shared a heat with someone. The sure, practiced tenor of his voice when he called you omega rings in your ears.
“Don’t worry,” Mingi assures you, “I know what I’m doing, and Yunho’s got a handle on himself. He won’t touch you if you don’t want him to,”
“I’m really, really not worried about that,” You sigh.
“Good,” Mingi’s phone starts to vibrate in his pocket, and he adjusts his arms around you so he can find it, “We’ll take care of you - Hey? Are you out front?”
You can’t hear Yunho’s side of the conversation but you just wait, held against him.
“Okay, I got her,” Mingi says, and you smile.
You forgot the way that heat takes over every physical sensation, every little thing heightened until you feel like you’re on a razor’s edge. In a matter of hours you’re going to be a writhing mess, in so much pain you might be delirious - you might ask anything of them, beg for anything. You have to reconcile with your shame now, and let them help. After weeks of dancing around Yunho, what you really want is to ask him out for coffee, not this. Mingi is no stranger to being flirtatious, those sparks between you already evident, but it always felt like a little inside joke between friends, not a step towards anything more.
“Alright, just a little further,” Mingi urges you as he slips his arm under yours.
It takes time to get to the car, but when you get there, Mingi slides into the backseat with you instead of taking the front with Yunho like he normally would. Enclosed in the warmth of the car, you relax into Mingi’s arms and find Yunho’s eyes studying you in the rearview mirror. Their scents settle you a bit, more than any other alpha’s ever has.
“I’m okay,” You assure them, “it’s coming and going,”
“We don’t live too far,” Yunho smiles, “so just try to relax and we’ll be inside soon, okay?”
“Yeah,”
Mingi eases you against him, feeling your exhaustion, until you’re nestled in his lap with his fingers softly carding through your hair. Yunho’s eyes flick back to you again and again as he drives, but for the first time since the locker room, you’re not in too much pain.
“Yunho,” Mingi murmurs and his friend hums a noise of acknowledgement, “we need to pick up a few things for her,”
“What do you mean?”
“She needs to eat before this really starts,” Mingi says quietly, “I think we have water bottles at home and ice packs?”
“Yeah we do, I went to the store a couple days ago,” Yunho glances back at you again.
“Okay,” Mingi’s fingers keep up their soothing brushes on your scalp, “and we need condoms, in case.”
“Oh,” Yunho blinks and opens his mouth to say something but you get there more quickly.
“We don’t need them,” You twitch as a cramp ripples through you, “I’m on birth control,”
“If it would make you feel more comfortable though,” Mingi offers.
“No,” You groan a little and shift on the uncomfortable back seat, “really, I’m good.”
The car is quiet for a minute, the reality sinking in that they won’t just be keeping you safe tucked away in a room in their apartment, but they will be helping you. Yunho clears his throat, “Then we’re good, let’s get you home and in bed, and then we can order food? Do we have time?”
“Mhm,” You assure him, “I’m okay now that i’m with you both,”
“Exactly,” Mingi soothes you as your fists tighten, eyes closing as you breathe through another small cramp, “your alphas will take good care of you,”
You release a shuddering breath, the word sinking into your chest and keeping you whole.
“Almost there,” He murmurs, “just breathe, omega,”
Getting you upstairs to their apartment proves a little challenging, moving through the lobby of the apartment building and ferrying you into an elevator. They stay close to you, keeping you firmly tucked between them as they walk you in, and you do your very best to seem in control and not draw any unnecessary attention.
The minute their apartment door closes though, your legs give out and Mingi scoops you up, “You did so well,” he assures you, and it’s evident now that he is the one with the experience here, knowing exactly what the primal part of your brain needs to hear.
“I’ll order food,” Yunho says, giving you a small smile.
“Get her some meat,” Mingi directs him, “broth too, and lots of rice,”
“You are good at this,” You sigh.
“We got you,” Mingi grins, acting like this is second nature, “now… I can put you to bed, or would you like a cool shower before you lay down? I know that helps,”
“Mm, yes please,” You nod.
“Alright,” Mingi nods and looks up, “get the food going, and then meet me in my room with some water and the ice packs.”
“Right,” Yunho looks at you, “are you okay with just Mingi?”
“Yeah,” You smile, “I’m feeling okay,”
“Good,” Yunho smiles back and pulls out his phone to order the food, “then I’ll meet you there.”
Mingi sets you up in the bathroom with ease, making sure you have towels and everything you need. Your heat is coming, building inside your body with every cramp and rush of warm blush, but their combined scents keep things calm enough for you to take care of yourself a bit. He asks you to keep the door unlocked in case you need help, and leaves you to your moment of peace. You let the cool water settle your body, taking solace in this dip of your pre-heat before things get worse.
When you’re done, wrapped up in fluffy towels and feeling decidedly less sticky from the combination of sweat and slick, you make your way out into the hall. There are three bedrooms, an empty one you assume is Yunho’s, one that’s been converted into an office, and then one larger room at the end of the hall that you know must be Mingi’s.
He appears in the doorway before you make it too much further and smiles, “Feeling better?”
“Yes, thank you so much,”
“Mhm,” He reaches for you, “come on in, we got everything ready for you,”
His bedroom smells overwhelmingly like cinnamon when you first cross through the door and you feel a tense flutter in your core. His room is tidy, clean and organized well, which feels surprising for Mingi given how chaotic and busy he can seem at times. The bed is made, but the covers are pulled back for you and you see a folded shirt and thin sleep pants at the edge of the bed. Yunho is sitting in a chair in the corner by the foot of the bed and waiting, the dresser adjacent to his side equipped with almost everything you’ll need. Water bottles, pain killers, and ice packs, an unfilled bowl with a few washcloths stacked inside.
“How do you know all this?” You catch Mingi’s eye.
“My girlfriend in college went through terrible heats,” He explains easily, directing you towards the bed, “I remember what used to make her feel a little better,”
“Ah,” That explains so much of him, and his easy reaction to finding you in the locker room.
“Do you need help getting dressed at all?” He asks.
“No, I just really want to lie down,” Your limbs are starting to feel heavy and achy.
“We’ll leave you be then,” Yunho offers, “and when the food gets here we’ll bring some in,”
“Mhm,” You sigh, sinking down onto the bed, “thank you both again, so much,”
When you’re finally alone in Mingi’s room, you start to take stock of your body and how it feels, getting a sense of how far you are from the real thick of your heat. Judging by the intensity of your cramps and the fact that you’re starting to produce slick, you know you’re not too far off, maybe a few hours at most. The onset of your heat is normally much slower than this, a long few days of light pre-heat into a couple of days of uncomfortable cramps and extremely high arousal. On suppressants it feels easy, off them everything is unpredictable.
You pull on the clothes they left you, but they smell like stale lavender, artificial like laundry detergent and it’s not helping. You find the hamper in the corner and toss off the top, digging through Mingi’s clothes until you find a hoodie and you bury your face in it before taking a deep inhale and letting the warm smell of him pass through you. It might be crossing a line, but you don’t really care, you need them.
A pulsing wave passes through you and you collapse back into the bed, tugging on the hoodie and curling yourself up in the covers. The bed smells like him too, and you gather a pillow to your chest and take a deep inhale. Your neediness is starting to build up again with every passing minute, flushing heat through your chest and where you were cold a moment ago you’re suddenly overheated. You kick off the covers, but keep them close, and pile the pillows around you too so you can better inhale his scent.
Slick rushes forwards again and you bite your inner cheek to stifle a moan and keep things in check. You push off the sleep pants they had given you, and fish through your gym bag until you find a clean pair of underwear and some wipes. You clean yourself up a bit, and change your underwear for the third time today, before deciding that there’s no point in putting the pants back on. Mingi’s hoodie falls low over your shorter frame, dragging along your thighs.
You bury yourself back in his bed, and do your best to get a little rest before what’s to come.
When you wake, it’s to Mingi pushing back his hoodie so he can see your face a little better, “Hey,” he murmurs, “how are you feeling?”
“Tired,” You sigh, “and sore,”
“Okay,” He smiles and tugs lightly on the strings of his hoodie, “is this helping?”
“Mm,” You nod into his palm, but nervous knots start to curl up in your belly, “where’s Yunho?”
“I’m here,” Yunho’s voice comes from the opposite side of the bed, and you twist in the sheets to find him, a cramp pulsing through you as you do and you groan, gripping onto the bed sheets beneath you.
“Easy,” Mingi scolds you softly, “you need all the rest you can get,”
Yunho finds your eyes and smiles, “What’s wrong?” He asks gently, noticing your nervous fidgeting.
“I don’t know, I thought you left,” You manage.
“I’m an idiot,” Mingi sighs behind you and his hand that rests on your hip shifts away, “stay with her a second,”
“Mhm,” Yunho’s eyes don’t leave you, and he reaches out to rest his hand on yours, “we’ve got dinner, and then once you eat you can rest, we won’t go anywhere.”
You watch his face as he studies your features, his breathing slow and steady, when you hear Mingi come back into the room behind you. “Here we go,” He says, and you feel a large, soft blanket draping over you. The smell of wet earth and rain in the air fills your senses again and you drag the blanket up and around you with a sigh.
“You’re nesting,” Yunho observes, his mouth dropping open, “of course,”
“She couldn’t smell you in here,” Mingi explains with ease, “she needs you to relax,”
You nod, your cheek pressed against the blanket, “You smell like a thunderstorm,”
Yunho sits slowly on the bed by your side, brushing your hair back behind your ear and smoothing his thumb along your cheekbone, “Is that right?” he smiles.
“I love thunderstorms,” Your eyes drift closed.
Mingi chuckles, “I think she’s found herself a heat partner,”
“Only if she wants one,” Yunho presses, “and only after she eats,”
Your eyes reopen, and you push yourself up to your knees, dropping the hood of Mingi’s sweatshirt and running your hands over your warm cheeks. “We need to talk now,” You blink hard and take a deep breath, “before I get too far into this,”
“Let’s eat then,” Mingi gestures for you to sit back more comfortably and you watch as he and Yunho both produce boxes of take out from bags on the dresser, “what are you thinking?”
“Well,” You shift up the bed to lean against the headboard, dragging Yunho’s blanket with you, “I haven’t gone through this in a while. I’m not sure how it’s going to be, but you said you wanted to help. What did you mean by it?”
Yunho looks like he’s not sure exactly what to say or where to start and Mingi cuts in smoothly, “I’m willing to help with all of it. If you want me gone, I’m gone. If you want help to come to take the edge off, I can do that, and if you want me to actually knot you,” he gestures for you to fill in the blanks.
“Right,”
“But,” Mingi cuts in and your eyes shift back to him, “You seem to want Yunho,”
His eyes flick down to the way you’re rubbing his blanket between your thumb and forefinger and you drop it instantly, not even realizing what you were doing. Mingi smiles softly and adds, “I think you prefer his scent,”
“No!” You exclaim, wincing at the way your body tenses up, “No, it’s not that, at all.”
“Earlier,” Mingi takes a seat on the edge of the bed, “you said my scent was making it harder, that’s not what I want to do for you.”
“Mingi,” You shake your head, “I meant because it’s good, both of you. So, no I don’t have a preference.”
“Oh,” Mingi smiles, and then turns to Yunho, “how are you feeling?”
He clears his throat softly and nods, “The same as you, I’m all in.”
“Okay,” You exhale slowly, “then so am I,”
Mingi passes you a take out container and a pair of chopsticks, “Eat this, okay?”
“Mhm,” You’re caught between exhaustion and adrenaline, but you stay focused on the task at hand. You all eat quietly, the atmosphere a little awkward now that you’ve all agreed.
As you finish the container of food, Yunho smoothly passes you another and he says, “So, you feel comfortable with us?”
“I do,” You nod, shifting a little at a slight pain in your back, “I like you both, and if I can trust you in the studio, I can trust you with this.”
“And if you ask us to knot you?” Mingi prompts.
“Right,” You swallow, resting the container of food on your lap, “I guess there are some things we should say now,”
They look at you, waiting expectantly.
“People say things during heat,” You start, imagining all the things you might beg them for for the next few days to come. “It’s not like I’ll be out of my mind or anything, you know that,” You nod to Mingi.
“Mhm,”
“But it’s still hard to control,” You explain, and Yunho listens intently, “I don’t know what it’ll be like for me. It’s been a long time, but you have my permission to do whatever we need to. If I ask you to knot me, knot me.”
“Okay,” Mingi nods, “it’s good that we’re clear.”
You feel another flush up your chest and you breathe slowly, “But no matter what,” you hold their gazes, “if I ask you to claim me, don’t. Don’t do it, even if I tell you I’m sure.”
“Absolutely not,” Mingi’s brow furrows, and he looks shocked that you’d even have to say it, “there’s no way.”
“I know you know,” You swallow and reach for a water bottle on the nightstand, “but Yunho, you’ve never done this before.”
“That might be true,” He shakes his head, “but I know you wouldn’t mean that, it would just be the heat talking,”
“Exactly,” You nod, “I might sound like I want that or like I need that, but I don’t.”
“Understood,” Yunho nods, “I wouldn’t, I swear,”
You sink back into your pillows and tuck back into your box of food, “I just want you to be prepared,” you explain, “and before I start crying and begging you to give me a pup, I wanted to say it,”
Mingi laughs into his food, choking a little, “Sorry, no, not funny,”
You smile, the mood a little lighter now, “It’s kind of funny.”
Yunho smiles, shifting further onto the bed as he all but inhales his noodles, “You seem a better, I thought it was going to just get worse,”
“Oh, it will,” You shrug, “but the food is nice, and you’re both here with me. When Mingi found me I was scared and alone, which always makes it worse,”
Mingi’s hand rubs a comforting line up your shin, “You’re very safe now,”
“I know,” You nod.
“Eat some more,” Yunho notices that you’ve taken too long of a pause, and he gestures for you to keep going, “and then what would be nice? Some sleep?”
“Maybe,” You dip back into your rice, “would you stay?”
“I’ll stay,” Yunho murmurs.
“Me too,” Mingi adds.
They keep on you to eat, making sure you’ve had your fill. Afterwards, you rest between them watching some television, keeping your mind off things as best you can while you’re still feeling somewhat okay. They’re careful of you though, every shift of your body and soft hiss through your teeth drawing their attention. Mingi is still cool and evenly calm, but surprisingly Yunho is too, and you wonder what they talked about while you were in the shower. Did they discuss what to do at all? What the night and the next few days would be like?
You’re so exhausted, slipping further down into the bed, nestled in pillows and wrapped in Yunho’s blanket. They naturally gravitate closer, their hands finding their way to your skin, and you’re not sure if it’s just their alpha nature or if it’s them, but you’ve never been more grateful for it.
The cramps start to become unbearable again soon after they start to hold you. You’re not sure if their presence is making things move more quickly, let alone being with two alphas, but within the hour the pain sets in.
You curl into Mingi’s chest as tight pain cuts through you, “Fuck,” you pant against him, “it hurts,”
“I know,” Mingi soothes you, scooting down the bed until he’s eye to eye with you, “but you’re not alone,”
A sharper, biting pain rips through you and a flood of heat washes over you. You grip down hard on Yunho’s hand, curling into yourself with a taut moan, “It… it hurts,”
“Shh,” Yunho kisses your hair, running his hand up and down the expanse of your abdomen, “I know it hurts, jagiya,”
You whine at the name, desperate to hear him call you anything and everything. Your omega thrums inside you - every touch telling you just how much closer your heat is than you realize. “Please,” You plead, but you don’t know exactly what you’re pleading for, “I can’t breathe,”
“Yes, you can,” Mingi tries to sooth you, his hand on your cheek, “look at me, y/n, come on omega,”
Tears well in your eyes, heat flooding through your veins and a pulsating need fluttering through you. If they don’t touch you, you might wither into nothing. Your hips tuck back into Yunho’s and you groan, “I can’t,”
“She’s burning up,” Yunho murmurs from your side.
“Let’s take this off then,” Mingi tugs on the sleeves of his hoodie slowly, coaxing your arm through. He can see your rising panic at the idea you won't be wrapped in their scents, but he shakes his head slowly, “easy, love, let your alphas help,”
As the heavy sweatshirt is pulled away, you drop back on the bedding between them. The thin t-shirt they gave you is all but soaked through with sweat, sticking to your curves. Your head is aching, waves of feverish heat washing over you again and again, and you whimper, your legs twitching as you try to find a somewhat comfortable position.
“Hey, hey,” Yunho’s thumb settles over the swollen gland in your neck, and he strokes it soft and slow, “just breathe,”
It settles you, just a bit, and you let your eyes drift shut. With a sigh you reach for Mingi just to feel a bit of his skin on yours, “I’m not even properly in heat yet and I feel like I could crawl out of my skin,”
“Hot?” Mingi brushes the damp hair back from your forehead.
“It’s like my skin is tingling,” You murmur, “like a nerve,”
“Okay,” He nods. He shifts off the bed and your eyes flutter open. Mingi soothes you with a gentle hand, before moving towards the dresser, “Yunho, get those clothes off her,”
Yunho’s eyes lock on yours, “Can I?”
You nod, your head feeling full and pained.
Yunho’s hand slips under the edge of your damp shirt, coasting up your stomach as he pushes the fabric up and the drag of his hot hand sends a pulse through your body. You moan, head dropping back into the bedding, and you feel another gush of slick.
“It’s okay,” Yunho soothes as you he drops your shirt to the side of the bed, “there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,”
You huff, a light laugh as you shake your head, “Easy for you to say, you’re not falling apart whenever I touch you,”
“Yet,” He smiles.
“Who are you kidding?” Mingi returns to your bedside with a bowl of cool ice water and a damp washcloth. He throws a smile at his friend before ringing out the washcloth over the bowl, “The minute you saw us in the hall you were all alpha protection mode, scenting her and everything,”
“Shut up,”
You grin, but Mingi sweeps a cold line up your body with the cloth and you shudder, “Fuck, that’s nice,”
“Good,” Mingi murmurs, passing another wet washcloth to Yunho. When Mingi presses a firm line up your chest, and sweeping a little too close to your neck your body arches and your nipples harden into painful peaks.
You blush hard and drop a hand over your face, “I can’t believe we’re doing this,”
“Why?” Yunho asks gently, wiping your brow with the cool cloth.
“We work together,” You sigh, “closely together… I probably should have made you take me home or something but,”
“Do knotting dildos even really help?” Mingi asks bluntly.
“I mean,” You shrug, “they get the job done,”
“Hmm,” Mingi shakes his head, “not with a heat like this,”
“Maybe,” You sigh.
“y/n,” Yunho asks, “have you had a heat partner before? Have you been knotted?”
“A long time ago,” You nod, “it wasn’t a great experience, but you know, it is what it is.”
Yunho passes the cloth down your chest and you shudder, but he keeps the conversation going, “Why in the world are you off your suppressants then?”
Your eyes flick down, and you swallow hard, “I can’t afford them right now,”
“Wait,” Mingi shakes his head, “what?”
“The brand I’m on is the only one that works for me,” You explain, “they’re not priced like the generics, and I don’t have coverage yet. I’ve been rationing them out, but,”
“You should have talked to me about it,” Yunho shakes his head, brows knit together in concern, “we could have done something for you,”
“Yunho,” You meet his eyes, “I appreciate that, but I’m still kind of new here. I’m just trying to prove I belong here, and I didn’t want a reason to need a special exception.”
He looks like he wants to say something, but settles on nodding, “I can understand that.”
“I’m,” You tense up as your cramps intensify, “I’m glad to know I can talk to you, I’ll do it in the future, I just couldn’t come to you about this.”
“Alright,” He nods, his voice shifting to soothe again as your eyes clamp tightly shut.
“Are they worse?” Mingi asks.
You can’t answer, not yet, your muscles are locked up in crippling pain and you feel like you’re drowning in a sudden wave of hot air. You gasp as you feel your body produce more slick, your thighs surely sticky now, and you’re suddenly hyper aware of their hands and where they rest on your body.
“I think,” Your hips jerk as Mingi slides the washcloth just an inch up your side, “oh God, I think,”
“Okay,” Yunho pets your hair gently, “okay, just breathe,”
Your fingers tighten in the sheets beneath you and an overwhelming ache between your thighs reminds you just how empty your body is. You press your thighs together, feeling a throb in your core, and you can’t stop the whimper that bubbles from your lips.
“Let’s get these off too,” Mingi murmurs, his hands settling on your hip and tugging at your underwear to slowly peel them off.
Things are spinning around you, tense and painful suddenly and no amount of cool washcloths or gentle touches are going to help you now. Your vision feels blurry, and you curl into yourself, tucking your body into Yunho’s chest with a pained hiss.
“Oh, come here,” Yunho tucks you close, “I’ve got you,”
“Alpha,” You feel like crying suddenly, your stomach tense, “alpha, please,”
“What, jagiya?” Yunho murmurs against your hair.
You can’t explain what you need, all you know is that you can’t feel him close enough and you push the edges of his shirt up to try and find more of him, “Please,” you whine as you try to feel more of his skin on yours.
“Whoa, whoa,” He tries to catch your hands but it just makes you more tense.
“K-knot me,” Your stomach cramps, your cunt feeling swollen and sensitive, “please,”
“y/n,” Yunho tries again to pull your hands away but you drive forwards, pressing your cheek against his bare chest where his shirt is ridden all the way up and you sigh into his skin, pressing frantic kisses along his body.
“Please,” You beg again, “I’ll be so good for you, so good,”
“I know you will,” He manages, but he can’t deter you, and you feel the moment his body responds to yours. His hands tighten pleasantly on your hips, and you hear the change in his breath. He releases your hands and swallows hard, “Alright, alright,”
“No,” Mingi interrupts, “not yet,”
“Why?” You sob.
“You’re not ready yet,” He soothes, shifting closer behind you and placing a warm kiss on your bare back, “and Yunho and I are not going to hurt you tonight,”
“I don’t care,” Your hands slide down Yunho’s chest, searching for his waistband.
“Mingi’s right,” Yunho groans, attempting to disconnect your hands from him.
“Omega,” Mingi’s voice is firm, and your hands fall away, “be still.” You’re sure you’re shaking like a leaf, and he sighs, “You need a little sleep,”
“I can’t sleep like this,” You shake your head, “everything hurts so much,”
“We’ll help with that,” Mingi pulls you away from Yunho’s chest, ignoring your tense whine at being pulled away from him, and slides a hand down your thigh to press your legs open, “we’ll help you sleep,”
Yunho rests his hand on your inner thigh, bending your knee to open you up for Mingi’s hand, “Let your alphas make you feel good,”
You’re shaking in their grip, Yunho’s hand feeling like a lead weight, and Mingi settles down low by your side so that you’re almost nose to nose, holding your gaze as his fingers gently sink into your wet folds.
“P-please,” The sound in your throat is tight, “I need you to fuck me,”
“Mhm,” Mingi nods, unfazed by your sudden shift in demeanor as your heat finally starts to build, “we will, but not yet,”
You stifle a groan and turn your head away from him, tears gathering in your eyes as Mingi’s middle finger flattens out over your clit and starts to rock. All it does is stoke heat inside you and your vision blurs, the empty pocket inside you aching like never before. “Alpha,” You sob, “it’s not enough,”
You expect Mingi to respond, but instead it’s Yunho, cupping your cheek and drawing your face towards his, “Shh,” he shakes his head, a gentle expression on his face, “we have you, sweetheart,”
Something in his face calms you for a moment, the feeling of his warm gaze filling you and you want nothing more than to know he likes you. Approves of you. Your breath is slight, just a whisper in your throat.
Seeing your response he slides forwards, pressing his mouth to yours in a warm, tender kiss. His hand slips down and he brushes over your gland again to keep you at ease, “Be patient for us,” he kisses you again, “and you know we’ll knot you nice and full,”
With a desperate pant you catch his mouth again, moaning against his mouth when Mingi finally, finally sinks a finger deep inside your aching core.
“You’re still so tight, omega,” Mingi murmurs. He pushes a second finger inside and starts to pump them in and out, and it’s not enough, nowhere near enough, but little blooms of pleasure spark up your spine and you fall back from Yunho into the bedding once more.
“More,” You widen your legs and cant your hips, “please, Mingi, please,”
He presses his lips to your forehead, nuzzling you softly until his mouth is close to your ear, “You’re so beautiful, omega. Did you know that?”
A wash of pleasure crashes through you and his fingers speed up, pushing into you more firmly, his thumb catching against your clit to heighten every thrust. You moan against him, gripping hard on his shirt and jutting your hips into his hand.
“And so good for us,” Yunho kisses your shoulder, traveling down until lips close around one of your stiff nipples.
“Ah,” You arch into his mouth, “ah, god,”
“Close already, omega?” Mingi teases, shaking his head despite the smile across his lips, “Are you that sensitive?”
“D-don’t tease me,” Hot pleasure sparks up your body and your head twists back, your body tight and stiff.
“Then come,” Mingi bites down on your earlobe gently and you whine.
“Do as your told,” Yunho urges you, sucking hard on your nipple and pressing your leg open wider, “our sweet little omega,”
You come so hard your brain whites out, your ears ringing and your body trembling. After an entire week of build up to your heat, and hours of feeling like your body was being stretched out long like a rubber band, snapping apart in their hands hits you so much harder than you ever could have imagined.
Your brain reconnects when you feel Yunho’s soft blanket tucked around your naked body, and you’re too exhausted to open your eyes, but you feel them cuddle close before you drop off into sleep drowning in cedar and cinnamon.
You have no idea what time it is when you wake again, your brain is too foggy and pained to even check the time. All you know is desperate need, all consuming emptiness and aching. When you reach out in front of you, the bed is empty and you stifle a sob. You’re alone, they’ve left you alone. You’re alone and you’re in heat, and you thought they wanted you, but all you can feel is shame. The primal part of your brain tells you that you’re not good enough, that if you had been a better omega for them they would have stayed. You’d be good and knotted by now.
Curling into the sheets you try to push yourself up, but find the effort even harder than before. You’re soaked in sweat, trembling uncontrollably, and the throbbing pulse of your cunt is so heady that you find yourself seeking any friction at all, squeezing your thighs tight and grinding against the balled up comforter.
You feel a body roll behind you, shifting closer, and when you hear his groggy, sleepy groan, you almost cry in relief. “A-alpha?” You can’t move too much, too it’s too painful, but you reach back for him.
“Hey,” Yunho’s voice is a little hoarse, and it takes him a minute to realize what’s going on, but in the early morning faded light he watches the way you’re struggling. “Oh,” he breathes, “it’s really started,”
You nod desperately, “I need help, alpha, please,”
“Okay,” His voice drops, and he slides across the bed to slot himself perfectly behind you, “I’m going to take care of you now,”
“Y-Yunho,” You squeeze yourself further back into him, “I’m so empty,”
His face is above yours now, studying your expression to try and determine if this is really it, and you don’t know where Mingi is to guide the situation but at the feeling of Yunho’s body behind yours, your will to care is fading away into nothing. He’s not touching you fast enough, and with a whimper, you twist your head in the sheets, bearing your neck and submitting.
“Oh,” Yunho’s hands tighten on you, “oh,”
“Please,” You press again, “it hurts, alpha,”
His cock stiffens behind you, and you almost cry in relief, rolling your hips back against him. “Fuck,” His face drops against your hair, “oh my god,”
“Inside me,” You beg, reaching back and tugging at his shirt, “now, please,”
He moves so much more quickly this time, pushing down his sweats and reaching between your thighs to check you, finding you soaked with slick and aching for him. You moan when you feel the press of his cockhead against your entrance, and in one fluid motion he slides home, fully seating himself inside you.
You’re shaking in his arms, the feeling of being this full making you almost delirious with joy. Yunho doesn’t move though. He has you pulled as close as possible so that your back is flush with his chest, arms wrapped around you and keeping you perfectly still. His forehead rests against the top of your head and you can hear his shaky breath. You need him to move, to fuck you, to fill you with pups and never leave you, but he doesn’t.
Slowly, his hips draw back just a little before sinking forward again, thrusting inside your tight channel experimentally like he’s trying to get a feel for you. Despite how your body prepared you for this, making you wet and relaxed to be able to accommodate an alpha’s knot, the feeling of his cock stretching you open is almost enough to make you come right then and there.
He thrusts again, slowly, and you whimper against him. You need more, and fast.
Yunho groans as he holds himself deeply inside you again, caressing your body with his free hand, “You are the best thing I’ve felt in my entire life,”
Your brain spins, pleasure flooding you and distantly you can hear yourself asking him to knot you. You’re not prepared for what he’ll feel like fucking you in earnest.
“Is that what my girl needs?” Yunho pants, and hand locking down over your hip to help pull your body back against his hard thrusts.
“God, please!” Your eyes close, falling apart into the sensations of him inside you.
He groans against you, “Tell me what you need, omega,”
The low tenor of his voice is nothing but alpha now, his instincts guiding him just as much as yours. You’re never going to last, not if he’s going to talk to you like this. With a taut moan you beg him, “Fill me up, alpha please, knot me please,”
His hand slides up your chest, up your neck until you’re shaking with need, and closes his fingers on your jaw until he draws your face up so he can watch your eyes. His hips shift their pace, no longer driving into you with frantic need but instead firm, deep thrusts of his cock. His eyes are blown wide with desire, his mouth falling open as he watches you falling apart on his cock, “You’re all fucking mine,”
You nod, hot tears gathering in your eyes from the overwhelming sensation and you cry out desperately for more.
“All mine,” He repeats and surges forwards to lock his lips on yours, “you belong to me,”
“Yes!” You choke, “I’m yours, only yours,”
“Good girl,” He angles his hips, and on the next thrust you’re spinning fast into the crest of your orgasm. With his face pressed against you, his lips at your ear, his next words snap you open. “I’ll give you perfect pups,” He pants, his knot swelling, “I’ll breed you so full,”
There’s nothing now but the feeling of him, all encompassing as your orgasm crashes down over you, muscles spasming around his hard length. You’re a babbling mess, but so is he, so close to coming that the first sensation as your eyes reopen is his knot pressing hard at your opening.
He’s so large already, larger than any partner or knotting dildo you’ve ever used, and you scramble a little in his hold, “Y-Yunho, I can’t,”
“Shh,” He holds you against him, “you can, I know you can,”
Pushing your hips down with his broad hands, he angles himself upwards until you feel the pressure of his knot pushing past your entrance and finally slipping inside you fully. It burns, your body aching to accommodate him, but with the way he’s holding you and the throb of his cock inside you, none of that matters.
He grinds his hips desperately into you, his knot swelling further inside you, and when he comes, releasing hot with a shuddering groan, you finally feel sated. Your body melts into him, pleasantly foggy and at ease, his knot no longer uncomfortable but essential.
You’re finally, finally full.
It takes time for Yunho to come back to his senses, his hands still locked on your skin and breathing shaky as he tries to regulate it. You realize now that you have a little clarity that it was his first time. Deep, instinctual need had guided him, but the longer he stays quiet, the longer you wonder if you did well for him.
After another minute or two you find his hand and lace your fingers together, “Yunho?”
“Yes?” He murmurs from behind you, his forehead still against your hair.
“Can you hold me please?” You murmur, squeezing his hand.
“Come here,” He sighs, shifting slightly to spoon you properly. As he does, the knot locked inside you shifts and you make a startled hum at the sensation. He smooths your hair back and tries to get a good look at you, “Does that hurt?”
“No,” You shake your head, adjusting so that you’re resting on his bicep, “I just feel full,”
“Mm,” He kisses your temple, nuzzling your skin with his nose as he breathes in your scent, “you’re perfect,”
Warmth blooms in your chest, “So are you,”
“I want you like that again and again,” His hand slips out of yours so that he can coast it over your body, feeling your warm skin under his hands.
“You can have me like that again and again,” You smile, “I’ll be in heat for days.”
“Days of this,” He sighs, his hand dipping down over your hip and settling over your stomach. He inches his fingers down, passing over your sensitive nub and feeling the place where your bodies connect, locked together.
“Does it feel good for you too?” You murmur, a little breathy as his hand slips back over your clit.
“I’ve never felt anything like this,” He presses closer to you, “it’s incredible,”
You chuckle, kissing his arm and relaxing further into his touch. You’re about to agree, to say more, to confess that in truth it’s your only experience in heat that so far hasn’t been terrible, but the door to the bedroom opens and Yunho tenses.
Mingi opens the door slowly, and Yunho pulls you close, his hand closing over your stomach and his other arm wrapping around your shoulders. It’s just Mingi, but Yunho’s brain must still be fogged with the intrinsic need to protect you and in the presence of another alpha, he can’t see that it’s just his friend.
“Mingi,” You shake your head, feeling how tense Yunho is behind you, “give him a minute,”
“You’re okay?” He checks, staying rooted to the spot at the door, knowing that Yunho could hurt you if he stops thinking straight and tries to defend you against the imagined threat of another alpha.
“I’m perfect,” You assure him, “I promise,”
“Is he?” Mingi looks anxious.
“He’s fine,” You nod, smoothing your hand across his arm to try and relieve some of his tension, “but we need some more time.”
Mingi nods, “Come find me when you’re done,”
“We will,”
Mingi’s eyes flick to Yunho, “Be careful with her,”
“I got it,” Yunho’s voice sounds strained.
Mingi nods once, and then disappears, leaving the door open, and you suspect it's so he can hear things a little better should you need him. Yunho’s muscles unlock slowly, his thumb unconsciously rubbing a steady line over your abdomen, and he exhales heavily into your hair.
After a while, you expect his knot to have gone down, but he’s just as locked inside you as ever. The overwhelming alpha quality though has started to fade, and you rest lazily in his arms as he plays with your fingers and waits it out.
“Does it normally take this long?” He asks finally.
“Not usually,” You shake your head, “but it’s your first time knotting someone properly, so it might just take a little bit.”
“I’m sorry,” He murmurs.
“Why?” You tug him a little closer to your back, “This is exactly what I need,”
“Everything felt right?” He pushes himself up onto one elbow so that he can look down at you a little better, propping his head in his hand.
“Mhm,” You assure him, “Better than right,”
He smiles, his eyes flicking over you appreciatively.
“What about for you?” You bring him back to center, rubbing a circle into his palm with the pad of your thumb.
“It wasn’t what I expected,” He says honestly, and your mouth drops open. “No, no,” He cups your cheek, “I meant that it was just… much more intense than I expected. I said a lot of things to you, and I don’t know, I guess I thought that type of thing was just played up in porn,”
“Oh,” You grin, delighted a little by the way his ears run red.
“Yeah,” He smiles, blush creeping into his cheeks now, “I just couldn’t stop myself,”
“Mm,” You nod, “I get it, completely. This is why I wanted to talk before I was in heat,”
“Was it too much?” He checks in.
“No,” You assure him, “It was just what I needed to hear, and it doesn’t mean anything outside of my heat, it’s just instinct.”
He nods and sighs, dropping back to the bed and cuddling you close again, “Good,” he murmurs, “then don’t worry about how clingy I’m about to get,”
“You? Clingy?” You giggle against his chest, “I don’t believe it,”
“I’m a softie,” He shrugs, “I don’t know what to tell you,”
“But you always seem so serious at the studio,” You murmur, “and I’ve seen you go out with a lot of women,”
“Ah,” He laughs, “well the studio is work, and I’m responsible for a lot there. And as far as the dates,” he corrects, “I am trying to appease my mother because she desperately wants me to find a wife, which I’m not really focused on right now, but she’s pretty obstinate.”
“Such a mystery, Jeong Yunho,” You prod him lightly.
“Not really,” He kisses your hair, sighing into you, “I’m just a guy,”
You hum and let your eyes drift closed as he holds you.
He yawns and sighs again, “So, forgive me if I cuddle you to death while you’re here, like I said, softie,”
“I’m not complaining,” You sink into his touch.
He groans a little, his knot finally softening but he stops you when you shift your hips, “Go slow, I don’t want to hurt you,”
“It’s okay,” You assure him, feeling the way his knot fades down into being barely there. His cock starts to soften, and you slowly ease your way forwards while he shifts his hips back, disconnecting you both with a soft wet sound.
His release floods out of you, leaving you messy and sticky, but Yunho kisses your shoulder and shifts away, “Hold tight, I’ll get a towel,”
He seems incredibly unembarrassed about the messy state of heat sex, which you’re eternally grateful for, and within a few minutes you’re cleaned up and dressed again in yet another pair of clean underwear and one of the largest shirts of Mingi’s that you’ve ever seen.
“How are you feeling?” Yunho asks as you finish cleaning your face up in the mirror of Mingi’s bathroom.
“A little sore,” You tell him honestly, “and cramping a little again, but it’s not too bad yet.”
“You want to come see Mingi then? Get out of this room for a minute?” He brushes his fingers down your back as he watches you in the mirror.
“Perfect,”
In the living room, Mingi is waiting. He’s pouring over with nervous energy, his leg bouncing and his fingers fidgeting with his phone, refreshing his social media feed over and over again. The television is on, but he’s clearly not watching, and instead you see him perk up at the first sounds of you emerging from the bedroom.
“Hey,” He twists around on the couch, looking a little relieved when he sees you completely fine and cleaned up wearing one of his t-shirts.
“Hey,” You smile, moving towards the couch, “can I sit?”
“Of course,” He gestures towards the couch, but that’s not exactly what you meant. The sight of him waiting for you, and the palpable taste of his anxiety in the air makes you feel needed, and you push his arms open to settle in his lap.
“Oh,” He adjusts his legs to give you a better seat and winds his arm around your back, “is everything okay?”
“Mhm,” You take his hand, rubbing your thumb gently over the gland in his wrist to soothe him, “you can relax, I’m perfectly fine,”
Yunho takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch, chewing the inside of his cheek as he watches you and Mingi together. With a nudge to his friend’s thigh he gets Mingi’s attention and shakes his head, “I’m sorry I snapped at you,”
“It’s cool,” Mingi shrugs, “I know the feeling.”
“Where did you go, anyways?” You ask, leaning into his chest. The familiarity between the three of you should feel strange, before last night you really were only coworkers to each other. You might have even become friends, but now you’ve pushed so far past that you don’t know what you are except to accept that their hands on your skin feels right.
“I shouldn’t have left, I could feel you were getting restless,” he explains, “I went to make you some broth and get cold water, just putting a few things together, but by the time I got back you were both in it,”
“Ah,” You blush looking down at your hands, “sorry,”
“Don’t be sorry,” Mingi’s broad, warm hand rests on your bare thigh and gives you a subtle squeeze, “I’m glad Yunho could help. I just didn’t think it would be smart to interrupt you,”
“Good thinking,” Yunho adds, running a hand over his face and sighing, “you were right,”
“I told you,” Mingi nods, “it can be intense,”
Yunho passes a hand over your shin before pushing himself back up to stand and he stretches long and tall before groaning, “Alright, I’m starving.”
You clap a hand over your mouth, chuckling into your palm, “Classic,”
“Can I make you something?” He asks, “Either of you?”
Mingi shakes his head, “I’m good,”
“Me too,” You agree, “I should be hungry, but I’m really not,”
Mingi’s nose crinkles, “You should still eat,”
“Maybe in a bit,” You try to appease him.
“In a bit you’ll be jumping our bones again,” Mingi counters.
“I know,” You sigh, “but really, I’m okay. I feel pretty good,”
“This is really just because it’s day one right?” Yunho asks, a little less joking than before.
“Yeah,” You nod, “day one and two are never as bad, and you definitely have more lucidity as long as you’re managing the spikes well. Day three, four, and sometimes five if it lasts that long, are usually a lot harder.”
“How much is a lot?” Yunho asks, stepping close and running his hand over your hair, “You were already in a lot of pain,”
“I’ll be less coherent, and the fever can be worse. I probably won’t have down time like this,” You explain, “the pain isn’t necessarily worse, it’s just more consistent,”
He frowns, “Then you’re eating now,”
You sigh heavily and shake your head, “Honestly, you don’t need to, I can make myself something in a bit or,”
Mingi cuts you off and makes a dismissive noise with his tongue against his teeth, “y/n, relax. This is what we meant when we said we’d help you through your heat. It’s more than just orgasms and knots,”
You swallow back your words, holding his gaze.
“Alphas are meant to provide,” He reminds you, “so let us,”
A flutter of warmth bubbles through you, and you can only nod, no use arguing now when your mind is spinning and telling you to accept. Yunho drops a quick kiss on the top of your head, before disappearing into the kitchen. You’ve never had an alpha provide, never once. In your limited experience before going on suppressants, you were used to being knotted incredibly quickly and then left alone, or having a partner that never really knew how to fully satisfy, leaving you to feverishly deal with your needs while they slept. You’ve never experienced a heat where you felt wanted before.
You ease into Mingi’s chest, resting a head on his shoulder and letting your muscles relax for as long as you can. They make you food, massage your sore hips, and keep you distracted with stories and memories from before your time at the studio. They hold you close, and they ease your pain, they provide.
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Universal healthcare would be a game changer in the US. It wouldn't solve everything, of course, and it still has its issues especially in a medical system that is poorly funded and understaffed but it would change SO MUCH.
Even aside from saving lives, which we all know politicians do not care about, it would be a massive boon to the economy to let people spend money on things other than paying off medical debts, paying expensive insurance fees, and paying for medication and treatment abd doctors visits. Like a household that isn't spending a few hundred (at least!!) on life-saving medicine every month is a family that can instead put that money towards luxuries.
And yet, even the most "left-leaning" politicians in the US just completely refuse to back universal healthcare. Full stop. A basic part of many other countries, countries that are frankly doing much better than the US financially, is treated as so absurd and radical that it's not even really a discussion by Democrats.
I know I've ranted about this before. You haven't seen it, obviously, but I've also had horrible breakdowns about this irl. I voted for Harris but thinking about her vague, completely milquetoast stance on single-payer healthcare genuinely makes me feel like I'm going to throw up because that is still the best fucking option we have.
I don't know how we can fix this. I don't know how we as a country can possibly continue like this, when even the absolute bare minimum in so much off the rest of the world isn't even a consideration by mainstream politicians here. I feel sick.
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URGENT;
FUNDRAISING FOR TREATMENT OF BREAST CANCER
I have tried my absolute best not to seek financial support online especially when our our collective focus should be aimed towards the welfare of our Palestinians, Congolese, Sudanese brothers and sisters. I have truly consider countless options before resorting to asking for monetary assistance but I no longer have the means to keep myself alive and my little family Following my father's death almost four years ago due to colorectal cancer.I diagnosis late last year with stage 2A breast Cancer.
There's an even elaborate explanation on the fundraising page that I will be attaching in this post. Please,take some time to read it. I am our family's breadwinner an I am only asking for monetary assistance because I no longer have a job or source of income nor is my previous company willing to shoulder my medical expenses. I am left to fend for myself and I have used all of my savings to afford numerous physical and health examinations and the prescribed medication.
I am going to attach photos of how the disfigured my right arm now is, the evident lumps/ tumors on my armpits and if you want to proof of how the cancer has affected my breast, please directly message me.My left breast shrunk into at least 1/3 of it's original size.
I am sincerely sorry for being a bother but if you have the means to donate to my fundraising post, please do. I badly needed all the help I can get so I won't be summoned to court and would be able to afford surgery on time. If you cannot donate, kindly share this post. If you have any other questions please reach out to me through direct messaging. Please understand too that I will take a bit of time to respond because I am struggling to grasp my phone , only typing using my left hand.
Please consider donating
Donation target $980/18000
Donate here
#donations#signal boost#us politics#fundraiser#gofundme#free palestine#save palestine#palestinian genocide#i stand with palestine#all eyes on rafah#us police#mutual funds#olympics#sports#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#cancer#healthcare#donate
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Buttercup Vet Commissions!
This is my new pup Buttercup that I adopted with my best bud, and she is already a wonderful part of the family. Problem is, the shelter we got her from assured us she was over giardia.... but she wasn't. And because it is a pre-existing condition, pet insurance won't cover anything.
Buttercup has had treatment for the last month and a half and is slowly getting better, but she needs to see the vet again to test her stool and see if it is cleared, or if there is another problem. Which may mean more intensive, and expensive treatment... and the lab alone is $87.70, the initial appointment was $79, and each round of medication has been at or around has been $58.15 weekly... It is already difficult to make rent, but not impossible yet. And since we can't rely on pet insurance, we will not be able to afford her treatment if it ends up being specialty or long term.
SO, to make up for this, I am opening sketch commissions. These will be cleaned up sketches only with suggested prices, but really they are "pay what you want". But keep in mind: the more you pay, the more detail I will put into the art.
First and preferred option is the headshots. $20 is the suggested price, but I will take anything over $15... but rendering will only be added if the donation is over $30. And if you want to throw in more, I will happily add a simple background
If you'd like to get full bodies, I can draw those too. Generally I double the price of what would be a headshot, and additional characters are +50%
ALL donations regardless of size will get a small doodle at LEAST unless specified. The examples provided are for reduced commission amounts of money.
If you can't donate, I would highly appreciate a signal boost, every little bit helps...
I take PayPal*, and Ko-fi: Dyad-of-Fate but I am willing to look at other options.
*If you use PayPal, PLEASE specify if it is a commission (goods and service only) or a donation. PayPal can lock accounts for not being properly marked.
Again, thank you for any help that can be given...
#illustration#sketch#digital#my art#commissions open#commission#art#artists on tumblr#wolf#wolves#wolvden#centaur#dog
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URGENT;
FUNDRAISING FOR TREATMENT OF BREAST CANCER
I have tried my absolute best not to seek financial support online especially when our our collective focus should be aimed towards the welfare of our Palestinians, Congolese, Sudanese brothers and sisters. I have truly consider countless options before resorting to asking for monetary assistance but I no longer have the means to keep myself alive and my little family Following my father's death almost four years ago due to colorectal cancer.I diagnosis late last year with stage 2A breast Cancer.
There's an even elaborate explanation on the fundraising page that I will be attaching in this post. Please,take some time to read it. I am our family's breadwinner an I am only asking for monetary assistance because I no longer have a job or source of income nor is my previous company willing to shoulder my medical expenses. I am left to fend for myself and I have used all of my savings to afford numerous physical and health examinations and the prescribed medication.
I am going to attach photos of how the disfigured my right arm now is, the evident lumps/ tumors on my armpits and if you want to proof of how the cancer has affected my breast, please directly message me.My left breast shrunk into at least 1/3 of it's original size.
I am sincerely sorry for being a bother but if you have the means to donate to my fundraising post, please do. I badly needed all the help I can get so I won't be summoned to court and would be able to afford surgery on time. If you cannot donate, kindly share this post. If you have any other questions please reach out to me through direct messaging. Please understand too that I will take a bit of time to respond because I am struggling to grasp my phone , only typing using my left hand.
Please consider donating
DONATE HERE
Donation target $980/$18000
Verified by 90_ghost No.512
#stand with gaza#save gaza#gaza strip#gazaunderattack#free gaza#gaza#gaza genocide#us politics#send help#fundraiser#art on tumblr#artwork#support#fundraising#donations#paypal#gofundme#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#columbia university#donate if you can
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PLEASE HELP
EMERGENCY ART COMMISSIONS
hi guys
i really hate having to do this. i really hate having to beg for help. but i’m kinda at my wits end and there’s not much else i can currently do. i lost my job 4 (four) months ago due to medical issues (AKA they fired me because i was so chronically in pain that i could not consistently come to work in person and they refused to let me do work from home even though the job could absolutely be done entirely remotely). over the summer, i was busy trying to get the pain sorted, and though it still sometimes gets bad, by now it’s pretty much under control. i’m sending out job applications every day, attending interviews, etc., unfortunately the job market is really shit where i’m at right now and i haven’t been able to get a new job. i’m trying my fucking best but the money is running out, and i just paid the last phone bill i am able to afford. i do not have access to stable wifi, which i need to access the job applications as well as online interviews, so i have to pay horrid bills to do it with mobile data. i will not be able to afford these bills next month. i’m fortunate enough to have a place to stay for free, but i’m essentially too broke to commute anywhere, too broke for food purchases, and too broke to pay my bills. i need help. i don’t dare to ask for money in return for nothing, so i’m offering art commissions (they’re not super expensive at the base price, but it’s a “pay what you want” situation, - if you can and would like to give more than the base price, it would be IMMENSELY appreciated). i’ve linked my carrd to this post, you can find my commissions through my ko-fi, which is the first link in my carrd. there’s also an option to donate, just 5$, i cannot ask for more.
any and all help is appreciated, if you can’t afford to spend money on a luxury such as art, please reblog this post so it may reach those who can.
thank you.
https://muzzlespazm.carrd.co
#artwork#digital illustration#digital art#digital drawing#yummy🥩#cannibalposting#cannibalistic#cannibal girls#schizoposting#classic horror#vintage horror#horror aesthetic#please help#send help#pls help#commission#original art#artists on tumblr#art commisions#art comms open#art commissions open
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Why do you call your cat piss king? Is he really good at it or something?
hi anon!
we're gonna learn a bit about cat urinary systems and issues! it may be a bit TMI for the scope of the question but, given how few cat guardians know about this, I'm always looking for chances to educate since being informed can literally save a cat's life.
the main takeaway: if you notice that your cat cannot pee, HEAD TO THE EMERGENCY VET NOW, DO NOT PASS GO! full stop.
if they cannot pee, that is one of the few true emergencies in a healthy cat, and you NEED to treat it as such.
usually you'll see a blocked cat straining and vocalizing in the box, licking themselves, whining and highly reactive to being touched on the lower belly, and - of course - you won't see any proper urine in the box. there may be dribbles or blood, but no pee. this is a problem that escalates really fast, and can easily be lethal. do NOT fuck around with it.
what qualifies me to talk about this? it's exactly what happened to pekoe (peek for short) about three years ago.
proper Storytime and more detail below the cut.
see, the thing with cats is that their bladders are tiny and their kidneys are, uh, bad! so if they can't pee, not only is it incredibly painful, but the liquid and toxins building up in their system can do a LOT of organ damage in a VERY short amount of time. this can get very bad, very fast, and it is very easy for them to die from it if the issue can't be fixed easily and promptly.
usually, the vet will be able to get a catheter into the blocked cat to relieve the pressure, flush out their bladder if there's a physical blockage (ex, if they've made bladder crystals/stones, we gotta get those out of there!), and give them medication to prevent spasms and infection as they heal. a cat then needs to go on urinary-friendly food to prevent additional blockages for the rest of their lives, and some other lifestyle adjustments should be made to treat any underlying risk factors that the animal might have.
sometimes, however, that doesn't resolve the issue, and they block again. and if you're extra unlucky, they'll block AGAIN after that. and maybe again, for extra spice. if you're extra extra unlucky, this will all happen in the same week.
this is the situation that peek and i found ourselves in.
picture the urinary system of a cat as a funnel, with the external bits being the tip of the funnel. when you ultimately need to make a funnel bigger because it can't drain anymore, what do you do?
you remove the tip.
this is an operation called a perineal urethrostomy, or a PU for short. it's a last resort salvage procedure that essentially removes the external genitalia of a male cat to widen the exit of the urinary tract and prevent future blockages. it's a difficult and delicate operation with a very long recovery time. it was also the only option left to save peek's life.
real talk before this next bit: i will never judge pet guardians for impossible decisions made in good faith based on qualified medical advice, in the interest of trying to do what's best for their pets. flat up, i don't stand for that shit.
okay? cool, let's keep going.
a PU is definitely not a surgery that has any guarantees, it can be very painful, it needs a very skilled vet to do it, and it's both expensive and difficult to see an animal through it safely. it was also the one option we had left to save peek, who was very very VERY sick at that point. the vet told me that she was also willing to do euthanasia, if the PU was not right for us, with zero judgment - the little guy had been through a lot of pain and several surgeries already, and doing this operation would be asking a lot more from an animal that was already very weak, with no guarantees of success.
he was briefly stable so i took him home to think about it and sat with him overnight. hours in the darkened living room, with my fluffy best friend sleeping fitfully in my arms like a sick baby. in the morning when he woke up he gave me a little lick on the face, and then a headbutt with a weak but undeniably hungry little meow. he hadn't had an appetite in a week, but now he wanted breakfast. in that moment, i knew he was letting me know that he wasn't finished fighting yet, so i knew the right decision for me was to keep fighting for him.
i called the vet, and we went ahead with the surgery.
i'll spare you the rest of the grisly details - the procedure was a success, and i was lucky enough to be able to work remotely and nurse him through the recovery. it was long and difficult and stressful. it sucked! it was crazy making. i would break down weeping with relief every single time i saw a dirty litter box for WEEKS. if you're reading this and going through it yourself, please feel free to reach out to me any time, okay?
but we persevered. i took care of him, and he rallied like a goddamn king. and hey. anon. guess what?
that was almost three years ago. his life went fully back to normal after he healed. you wouldn't know that this had happened if you didn't already know, because that fluffy little king still pisses like a champion race horse.
so, that's the story of how pekoe became
THE PISS KING.
#pekoe the piss king#storytime#anon ask#cw pet death#cw surgery#cat care#cat owner psa#psa#urinary obstruction#pu surgery
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A Fresh Start [6]
Din Djarin x F!Reader
Warnings: angst, but with like immediate follow up comfort, medical trauma? if you’ve ever been blown off by a doctor in the office and that frustrated you then be forewarned
Word Count: 5,119
Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.
Ch. #06: TRIKAR’LA, BUIR!
Chapter Summary: Grogu goes to the doctor, and the Marshal decides he might need to murder said doctor. You get comforted by your boys.
"Watch carefully,
the magic that occurs,
when you give a person,
just enough comfort,
to be themselves."
- a t t i c u s
Nevarro didn’t have a large hospital. It had an emergency center and a clinic for routine appointments. Anything that couldn’t be healed or cared for within a day got transported to a nearby settlement on a neighboring world. Luckily, the transport time wasn’t very long, and Nima told you that the travel there wasn’t intense. The High Magistrate had worked out a deal to keep it that way.
Coming from a Level One Trauma Center on Coruscant, the office was shockingly puny. A simple two story building with emergency services on the first floor and routine medical care on the second. You had learned ages ago that the size of a medical center didn’t correlate to the kind of care a patient could receive. Some of the best physicians you’ve worked with came from smaller hospitals. You had no criticism there. The only thing that made you nervous was not having the kind of resources a Level One hospital would have. Coruscant had spoiled you in that sense.
For what had to be the hundredth time since leaving the station, you glanced over at Mando who walked right beside you. He held Grogu in his arms casually chatting with the boy. Grogu responded in a mix of Mando’a, Basic, and gibberish. It was painfully cute watching the Mandalorian interact with his son. Every inch of him screamed danger and intimidation, but the tender voice leaving his helmet’s modulator was nothing but soft and loving.
“Is something wrong?”
It took you a second to realize Mando was talking to you. “Hmm?”
“You keep looking over at me.”
You were getting pretty decent at reading Mando’s body language, and weirdly you could tell the difference between his head tilts. All of that, yet you still had a bad gauge on how far he could see out of his peripherals while wearing the helmet.
“Oh, er,” You scrambled for a response, “No. Nothing. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just checking on you.”
You opened your mouth but stopped yourself when you realized you were about to apologize for apologizing. Instead, you tried to steer the conversation away from your staring. “Do you know how many doctors work in Nevarro?”
“Not enough.” Mando replied. “Three rotate on the schedule right now, I think. Karga is still trying to recruit more, but until Nevarro really makes a name for itself it’s a hard sell.”
“It’s pretty impressive so far.” You motioned around to the clean and cheerful street surrounding you. “And growing fast.”
Mando nodded and your lips curled up in a smile as you watched him allow Grogu to crawl onto his shoulder and cling to his helmet. He kept one hand up just in case the child slipped. “Yes, but as always, it comes down to credits. Karga spent a lot to get this place built up. Doctors are expensive.”
“True, but if you’re gonna spend credits anywhere healthcare is a good bet.” You shrugged. “There are doctors out there who’ll take less pay to work somewhere rural. I⏤” You stopped yourself and at the sudden halt Mando glanced your way. You had nearly told him you once considered working in a rural setting. It hadn’t crossed your mind in ages, since before the incident, but you didn't think twice before nearly blurting it out. You cleared your throat. “I knew someone. From the clinic I worked in. They were specifically looking for a job somewhere rural.”
Mando nodded. “Maybe you should send their frequency number to Karga.” You forced out an awkward chuckle. “For now though, we have Bacta and cautery. You could probably find e-bacta if you asked the right people.”
“Spoken like a true bounty hunter.” You teased.
Mando let out a laugh and began to wrestle Grogu from the makeshift jungle gym of his shoulders and helmet. The clinic had come into view and you felt a ball of nervous energy begin to form in your chest. This wouldn’t be your first time in a medical facility since that night, but it would be your first time going willingly. All this morning, you hadn’t thought about it. You didn’t think this would bother you at all, but staring at the building now your mouth was becoming dry and your palms clammy.
The weight of a hand on your shoulder startled you, and your head snapped to the side to see Mando facing you. Nothing about his helmet looked concerning, but you could feel the worry radiating from him. “I’ve been calling your name. You didn’t answer.” Grogu hummed in his arms and tilted his head. “Are you sure everything is okay, cyar’ika?”
“Yes. Just...zoned out.” You tried to find an excuse, but nothing was coming to mind. So, you went for the next best thing. Topic change. “What does that word mean?”
“What?”
“The word you called me. Uh, ‘shar ekah’?” You repeated it best you could, but the word was always spoken so swift and softly that it was hard to remember the exact pronunciation. Saying ‘buir’ had been much easier.
Mando’s hand fell from your shoulder and his entire body went tense. You furrowed your eyebrows at his reaction. He let out a soft cough, and now it seemed like he was the one searching for something to say. Your distraction had been successful. However, now you were very curious as to what he was calling you. Mando didn’t seem like the type to secretly be calling you ‘dumbass’ all the time.
“It’s nearly 2.” He blurted. “We don’t want to be late.”
“Right!” You nodded. As curious as you were, you’d happily accept any advancement of this moment. Anything to avoid him asking you what was wrong again. He passed you to enter the building and you took in one last shaky breath before following.
The clinic’s waiting room was filled with children. This office saw patients of all ages, but with school starting up next week it seemed most families were doing exactly as Din was⏤ getting his child ready for day one. The schedule was running late so despite it being nearly half an hour past the appointment time, Din sat in the waiting room right beside you. Grogu had wiggled out of his lap to run around the room with other kids around his age. It made him nervous at first. He wanted his son to have friends to have fun to not ever feel left out, but the anxiety of him not fitting in was painful. You had reassured him that everything was fine, and you had been right. Grogu squealed and laughed as he played with three other kids.
Din was leaning back in his seat, hands clasped over his abdomen and ankles crossed, in an attempt to look as casual as he possibly could. The truth was the opposite. Din couldn’t stop peering out of the corner of his eyes at you. Luckily, the helmet made it a lot easier for him to hide his actions unlike you. Din was still worried about you. It was obvious something was making you uncomfortable, and he had been determined to get to the bottom of it. Until, of course, you innocently asked what ‘cyar’ika’ meant. That had thrown him.
The first time he called you ‘cyar’ika’ it had been entirely accidental. You had been hesitant about asking him questions about himself, and he didn’t want you to feel that way. In his reassurance the word had just slipped out. Since then, it fell out a lot more. Often by choice. Din liked the way it sounded when he was referring to you with it. He liked that every time it left his lips, you’d turn to give him attention with your pretty smile.
Technically, the answer shouldn’t be embarrassing to him. The best translation of ‘cyar’ika’ was ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’, but that didn’t necessarily mean it had to be used in a romantic setting alone. It was a generalized term of endearment. He could’ve said that. Din’s problem was that he knew, deep down, he didn’t feel just a ‘generalized endearment’ for you. Din was much too attracted to you to pretend it was said with any other connotation.
His panic hadn’t helped his situation. Din spent his entire life being trained for a fight. He was taught from a young age that panic led to mistakes and mistakes led to death or worse. It had been ingrained into every single cell of his body to the point where staying calm was a muscle memory for him. It didn’t take a conscious decision. It was his default, and that default was half the reason he was so successful as a bounty hunter. Despite all of that, all it took was one innocent look from you⏤ one simple question⏤ and he melted into a pathetic puddle.
Din glanced your way again. You sat ramrod straight in your seat, shoulders tense, and your fingers were tangled together in a vice grip. He wasn’t sure how you weren’t hurting yourself holding your hands together like that. Whereas his entire body sat casual, though a farce, yours screamed stress. His own hands came unclasped as the urge to touch you in reassurance overcame him. Din managed to resist and instead crossed his arms in hopes that this position would better control his instinct.
“I haven’t been to a doctors office in a while.” You blurted. The sound of your voice had his head snap to look at you in a nearly comical speed. You were watching Grogu play while you spoke in a whisper. “I guess I’m just nervous. It’s stupid.”
“How you feel is never stupid.” Din replied. He shifted so he sat up rather than leaned back. “You didn’t have to come with us. If I had known—”
You chuckled, “I know. You wouldn’t have made me. I think you might be a little too understanding for a boss.” Din swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. That was true. Kriff, if you knew any of the thoughts he had you’d consider him the worst boss in this world— maybe in the entire Outer Rim. “I wanted to be here. For Grogu and— and you.”
“I appreciate that.”
“It’s no big deal.”
Din disagreed. You were acting against an active fear you had for him and his son. That meant a lot to him. He knew the kind of strength it took to press onward into a setting of discomfort.
“Can I ask why?” Din asked. “Why haven’t you been to a clinic in a while?”
You shrugged and your gaze drifted down to your hands which you began to wring together. Din stayed silent. He was content with giving you all the time in the world to respond. Finally, you looked up to meet his gaze. You smiled and your words came out jokingly, “Nobody likes doctors.”
“Still important to go now and then.”
“Uh huh.” You tilted your head at him, smile growing impish. “And when’s the last time you saw a doctor? Mr. Big Bad Bounty Hunter?”
Din’s lips curled up in amusement. He loved that you were comfortable enough to joke with and tease him. He shook his head. “I have bacta and a cautery at home. Those don’t require me to sit in a waiting room for 45 minutes.”
“Fair point.” You chuckled. “Bacta and cautery do have their own faults, you know.”
“Like?” Din asked. He didn’t really care about the faults of either, but if this distracted you from your nerves he’d play along. Plus, the sound of your voice was like music to his ears. He’d sit and listen to you read the instruction manual for a caf machine without complaint.
“Well,” You began, your shoulders beginning to relax, “Bacta is incredible. No doubt. Society called it a medical miracle and they weren’t wrong. It’s only as good as the person using it though. If the wound isn’t cleaned right or debris is left inside when the Bacta is applied then everything gets trapped inside as your tissue heals. Plus, if it’s already an internal issue Bacta can’t target that. It does nothing for fever control or symptom management.” Din could tell you were getting into the conversation because you twisted in your seat to face him. “If you use Bacta on a fracture, but you don’t set it right then it heals wrong. If you mess up the measurements in a Bacta tank or the settings are wrong it can ‘overheal’ a person which just means a person’s tissues and cells rejuvenate and are reborn so fast that it floods the body. Those excess cells wreck havoc and turn to tumors wherever they land.” Din let his eyes shamelessly trace your features. This was the first topic, other than Grogu, that he had seen you get so excited about. You pointed at him with a mocking grin, “And don’t get me started on a cautery gun.”
Din chuckled, “And what exactly is wrong with my cautery gun?”
“You’re essentially creating a wound to fix a different wound.” You scoffed. “It’s great for stemming blood loss and destroying infected tissue, but between infections and scarring⏤”
Din leaned toward you, a confident tilt to his head, “I’ve never had a cautery induced infection.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
You twisted your lips, amused, and he shifted so he was as close to you as he could manage in the separate chairs. You shook your head. “Fine. You, Marshal Mando, are the one exception of the system. Congratulations.”
Din let out a breathy laugh, and he wondered what it would sound like to hear his name spoken in your voice. The beeping of his communicator made you alter your position in the chair so you were back to where you had started. Din did the same and resisted muttering the curse words bouncing around in his head. Looking at the screen he saw it was Cara. Dank farrik. She’d only call if it were actually important.
He accepted the call and Cara started talking without preamble.
“Mando, we got pirates. Mayfeld and I are on our way to the tarmac where a group of them are causing trouble, but Karga said a few were spotted by the school.”
This time he didn’t hold back the curse that came to mind. Din turned to look at you and you gave him a reassuring nod. “Go.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Din stood.
“We’ll probably still be in here.” You motioned to the waiting room.
Din reached out to squeeze your shoulder and on his way out told Grogu to behave.
Kriffing pirates.
Mando had been an excellent distraction. You had never been a fan of pirates at baseline, they were always the worst to deal with when they stumbled into the hospital in Coruscant, but now you really hated them. You tried to focus on Grogu who was still playing with a different set of kids as the ones he had been with before got called back to be seen. Before they left, you had actually exchanged a few frequency numbers to set up play dates at some point.
“Grogu?” A nurse poked her head out of a door.
He dropped the blocks he was holding to perk up at the sound of his name. Still in a playful and active mood, Grogu wanted to walk on his own rather than be held so you walked by his side as you both followed behind the nurse.
She went about taking vitals and getting some more information before leading you back to a simple room. You sat down in one of the two chairs in the corner, by the exam table, and let Grogu bounce around the room to burn off his excess energy.
“You are gonna sleep so good tonight.” You chuckled.
“No sleep. No.” Grogu chirped. “No, no.”
That was quickly becoming one of the kid’s favorite Basic words to use. You glanced up at the clock on the wall to see it was about an hour after your appointment time. Understaffed clinics got backed up, it happened, and you understood that better than most. You felt bad for the poor physician running around the office today. You were actually hoping you’d have to wait a bit longer though.
Mando wanted to be here for this, to be here for his son, and you hated that the damned pirates got in the way of that. If you could swap roles with him and handle the pirates so he could stay here with his son you would’ve. Unfortunately, that would’ve been messy for every single person involved. You didn’t have an extensive history doing well in a fight, and the only kind of blade you knew how to use was a scalpel. You’d never even held a blaster before.
“Skraan!” Grogu called out.
You shook your head. “We just ate lunch, buddy. I think we have some snacks left.” You dug around the baby bag you had packed for the day and found the container of star shaped cereal puffs you had put together this morning. “Here we go.”
Grogu bounced over to you happily and held his hands up to you. You dropped a few stars into his palms and watched him eat them one by one. He’d explored the room while eating the stars and would only return back to you for more stars. That became the routine for the next ten minutes and by then you were out of star shaped snacks.
A knock at the door startled you. “Come in!” You placed the container into the bag and motioned for Grogu to come sit on your lap. “Hi. I’m⏤”
“This is Grogu?” The man interrupted your introduction. He was older, you’d guess in his late sixties or early seventies, and was human. Thick gray hair covered his head and it matched the thick mustache above his lips.
“Yes. We’re here for⏤”
“Let’s see, school registration check up.” He read off the holopad in his hand. You shifted in your seat, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, and bit back a snarky reply. “We’ll get some blood for lab work, give the usual booster shots, and get you on your way, yeah?”
You held Grogu’s hands, skeptical, “I was actually hoping⏤”
“There’s no need for⏤”
“Please stop interrupting me.” You snapped. There was nothing you hated more than not being able to get a thought out. Maybe you’d have more patience for it if you hadn’t spent all your training being looked down at for being a young woman. You couldn’t count the number of bloated attendings you worked under who were just like the man in front of you. The doctor stayed silent but you could see annoyance on his features. “Who are you?”
“I’m sorry?”
“When you came in, you never introduced yourself.” You said but paused before saying more. This wasn’t a hospital you had any sort of credentialing in. That meant if you wanted anything done, you were gonna have to stroke an ego. You cleared your throat and shook your head. “Sorry, I’m sure it slipped your mind with how busy you are today. I bet they have you running all over the place.”
The man chuckled. “You aren’t wrong. My name is Dr. Daelar. I am sorry about the wait time. I was caught in a different procedure room for the last hour doing a cryoablation of some skin lesions.” You resisted the urge to scoff. Doing cryoablation correctly took five minutes tops. Doing it insanely, incorrectly could maybe stretch it out to ten. You didn’t appreciate the excuse because you knew it was a lie. “As I was saying, we’ll draw some blood and get those booster shots going.”
“Thank you. We’re actually going to be forgoing the blood tests, and I was hoping you’d take a listen to his lungs.” You replied. Over lunch, Mando had explained that he wasn’t comfortable with anybody drawing blood from Grogu. He hadn’t explained the exact reasoning, but you gathered it was something from their tricky past. Even with your back to him, you could tell the topic made him mildly uncomfortable. “He’s had this night time cough I’ve noticed⏤”
Daelar shook his head. “That’s not wise. I strongly recommend the blood tests.”
“Okay.” You drew the word out. “Thank you, and I appreciate your thoughts on the matter⏤”
“These aren’t my thoughts, these are the facts.” Daelar interrupted again. “Blood work should be checked routinely for chronic illnesses. He needs this done.”
You didn’t know if Grogu could tell that you were in a bad mood, but he began to squirm and whine in your lap. He turned around and pushed up on his tip toes so he could bury his face into the crook of your neck. You scooped him up to hold him closer making the action easier.
“I understand the benefits of routine lab work, and I understand the risks of refusing.” You said as calmly as you could. If this was about legal issues then you’d say the magic words that he could type in his chart and waive all liability off himself. “That being said, we’re still refusing a blood draw today.”
Daelar scoffed and shook his head. “You’re being unreasonable. As a first time mom it’s understandable to be nervous and jittery, but it’s no reason to put your son at risk.”
Oh, you really didn’t like this man. Karga had somehow managed to hire a physician that represented everything wrong with healthcare. Nice. Between the bullying and assumptions, that would be enough to piss you off alone. Add the stress of being in a clinic after so long? You really had no chance of getting out of this without losing your cool.
“You’re not drawing labs on Grogu.” You snapped.
Daelar shook his head and shrugged. “Then I don’t know if I can clear him to start school.”
“Blood work isn’t necessary for school registration. Just the boosters.” Your voice began to raise.
“Ma’am⏤” He began once more but a solid knock at the door interrupted the interaction. A nurse poked her head in one second later and Daelar snapped at her. “We’re busy in here.”
“Sorry, sir. The child’s father is here.”
Daelar smirked at you. “Good. Perhaps, this will settle the matter at hand.”
The nurse slid out of the room and was replaced by Mando. You took in the sight of him, unharmed and unmarred, and a wave of relief washed over you. If dealing with the pirates had led to a fire fight then Mando came away with no obvious injuries. Mando’s helmet tilted just a bit and you could feel his eyes on you in the same way you had looked over him. His shoulders stiffened marginally, his stance still intimidating, and you wondered if your anger was notable. You rubbed Grogu’s back soothingly.
“Oh. Marshal!” Daelar greeted. “I had no idea this was your son. I⏤”
“What’s wrong?” Mando walked over to stand beside you, ignoring Daelar entirely. He rubbed Grogu’s head and let his hand trail from his son’s head to rest on your upper back. The way he stood beside your seat nearly blocked Daelar from your view.
You lifted your chin to stare up at the T-shaped visor. “Dr. Daelar has been adamant about a blood draw despite my very clear refusal.”
Mando turned around and his hands drifted to his hips. Daelar shifted awkwardly from across the room and he let out a cough. The doctor held his hands up with a smile, “No, I think this is simply a misunderstanding.” Your eyes widened, jaw falling open. “The little Mrs," Again with the assumptions, “She misunderstood me is all. I was simply offering my recommendation, but obviously the decision falls to your hands at the end of the day. We can just work on the boosters and finish the paperwork for registration.”
A disbelieving guffaw left your throat at the audacity of this man. Mando glanced over his shoulder down at you, and you took a sharp breath through your nose. Whatever. As long as Grogu got the care he needed. Mando looked back to Daelar.
“Have you listened to my son’s lungs?”
Daelar’s eyes widened. “Hmm? Why?”
“I know Soran would have brought it up. She’s attentive. Was there a misunderstanding about Grogu’s cough?”
“No. Not at all. Sorry.” Daelar sighed. “Bring the little guy over to the exam table.”
Without speaking, Mando held his arms out to take Grogu, and you tried to hand him over. Grogu clung to your shirt, his claws digging into the material, and he buried his face further into your neck. He grumbled, “No.” You shot Mando a look, and he reached out to help detangle Grogu from you. The little boy didn’t give in.
“Grogu.” Mando said firmly. He set a hand on his back. “Come to me, ad’ika.”
“No, no!” Grogu finally lifted his head to look at his father’s visor. He shook his head and you had to lean back to keep his ears from hitting you. Grogu whined, “Trikar’la, buir!”
Despite all the tension, despite the fact that you still only knew very, very basic Mando’a, you gasped with a swell of pride. Unable to bite back the smile you wore, you cooed. “Grogu, that was so good.” You had no idea what he said beyond referring to his father, but his words sounded like it could’ve been a full sentence. Plus, he had said it in front of Daelar, a virtual stranger. “Good job, sweetie.”
You lifted your eyes to Mando, expecting a similar reaction, but his entire frame was tense. Again, his helmet gave no signs of anger, but a seething energy radiated from him. You furrowed your brow in confusion. Grogu went back to hiding his face in the crook of your neck, hugging you, and Mando shifted his hands so one rested on your back and arm.
“Let me help you up.” Mando whispered in a kind tone. “You can sit on the exam table with him.”
“Alright.” You mumbled.
You didn’t need any help standing, but Mando kept his hands on you while you rose and all the way to the exam table. Once you sat down on the sanitation paper, Mando settled beside you. He kept his arm behind you, his hand leaning on the table by your opposite thigh. You turned to look at Mando, and because of his positioning you found yourself dangerously close to his chest. If you leaned forward you could bury your face in the crook of his neck the same way Grogu was doing to you.
His head began to turn to look at you and you quickly focused your gaze forward. Daelar came over with his stethoscope and began to listen to Grogu’s lungs. He did this for a few minutes before pulling back with a nod. Daelar cleared his throat. “I’m hearing a little wheezing. Very mild. I can prescribe a nebulizer treatment at home before he goes to bed. Hold the mask over his face and just let him breathe in the medicine.”
“Thank you.” Mando said, but his tone was more intimidating than grateful.
“I’ll send a nurse in with the boosters and the medicine.” Daelar said before rushing out of the room.
You scoffed, still in disbelief on how that had gone, but when the door closed Mando shifted so he stood directly in front of you. Now he had a hand resting on the table on either side of your thighs. You blinked in surprise at the sudden motion.
“Are you alright?” Mando asked.
You forced a chuckle. “Yeah. I mean, that guy was a total ass, but he wasn’t the first jerk I’ve dealt with. Won’t be the last.” You continued rubbing Grogu’s back, not knowing what else to do with your own hands. “Granted, I could’ve done without the gaslighting, but…” It occurred to you then that Mando hadn’t hesitated to take your side. “Thanks. For having my back, I mean.”
“Always.” Mando replied with ease. He let out a soft sigh. “I’m talking to Karga about this.”
You laughed. “You’re gonna get a doctor fired because he was rude to me?” Mando didn’t reply, but his shrug was highly unconvincing. “It’s fine.”
“He upset you. That’s not fine. Grogu said⏤”
You gasped, “Yeah! What did Grogu say?”
Mando paused before leaning back. “He said you were sad.”
Your eyes widened in surprise, and you glanced down to gently pull Grogu away from your chest to look at him. He stared up at you with concern in his large eyes, and you gave him a smile. “I’m okay.” You gave his head a light scratch and let your fingers trail to give his ear a light, loving tongue. “Thanks for looking out for me, little guy.”
Grogu lifted his hands toward your face so you brought it down toward him. He lightly patted your cheeks and did the same thing he did this morning⏤ pressed his forehead as close to yours as you could get it. Everyone in Nevarro showed different forms of affection to Grogu, he was too cute to not pay attention to, but the most important sign of affection was the way Mando lightly set his forehead to his. You had to assume that in Grogu’s mind, that was an important thing. The fact that he was sharing that bit of love with you was overwhelming. You tried not to linger on the thought too long this morning⏤ not wanting to fall apart⏤ but Mando being here sticking up for you without hesitation only added to the situation.
You felt yourself begin to get choked up and quickly cleared your throat.
“Here. Why don’t you go to your dad?” You held out Grogu, and Mando must have sensed your distress because he took the child with no question. You gave him a broad smile. “I⏤I have to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
You hopped off the exam table and as you pulled the door open Mando called out. “Are you sure you’re alright, cyar’ika?”
You let a wide smile fill your features, every bit of real, and nodded sincerely, “I am. I promise. I’m⏤ This…” Considering how grateful you felt right now, you owed him as much truth as you could give. You nodded. “This is the best I’ve felt in a really long time.”
Mando nodded once, silent. Grogu lifted a hand and gave you a small wave. You rushed out of the room and made a beeline straight for the bathroom you had passed on the way into the procedure room. Finally away from prying eyes, you leaned against the locked bathroom door and began to trace the scar along your collarbone. Even with your fingers ghosting over the ugly patch of skin, you felt happy⏤ cared for. Maker, you didn’t think you’d actually feel that way ever again.
mando’a translations:
cyar’ika: darling, sweetheart
trikar’la: sad
buir: father
#the mandalorian#din djarin x you#din djarin#din djarin x reader#mandalorian x reader#mandalorian x you#star wars#reader insert#female reader#mandalorian and grogu#grogu is a little adorable shit#mando x reader#mando x you#mandalorian fanfic#din djarin fanfiction#fluff#like straight rot your teeth fluff#angst#but with comfort#protective din djarin#good dad din djarin#slow burn
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AITA for vague posting about my ex after he got me an expensive but upsetting gift?
I (23 m) and my ex (22 m) have only been separated from our 2 year long relationship for a few months now. I was the one who broke things off and I wanted to stay friends, however, for reasons I feel are obvious, this was super difficult for him. We went a while without talking regularly, and he was often very upset with me and short, and would vague me online (very privately). It made me really upset to be treated that way but I didnt say anything since he was grieving and processing our breakup. About a month into our split, my service cat passed I was extremely distraught and upset, like this was my best friend and it was so sudden, I was unstable from grief, but he reached out with his condolences and I really appreciated it. We talked more and seemed to be reconnecting and I was super excited about it. I came over to him to help him fix his car, picked him up from the airport, etc. I had missed him so much and were finally hanging out again!! I had been grieving quietly for another month when, while I'm petsitting his cats for him, he tells me about a gift he left for me. I open it to a letter saying that basically he was having a hard time getting over our breakup and that he didnt know if hed ever be over it, but he was sorry for my recent loss. I unpackaged the gift to reveal one of those 3D felted cat portraits of my late best friend. It was too much for me to see him in 3D again and I started sobbing and freaking out immediately. I texted him thanking him for the gift, but saying it was too soon for me to have recieved it, but I didnt elaborate much on that for fear he'd be upset that his gift has hurt me. I didn't have many other people to personally reach out to about my grief. My friends all seriously disliked this guy for most of my relationship with him (he had done some really upsetting shit to me several times before he was medicated and they thought he was bad for me) and I didnt want to talk shit about him like theyd want to, I like this guy a lot... I also posted privately online that I had recieved a gift (not saying what it was, not saying who it was from) that I wasnt ready to get and that it was sending me into a grief spiral again. I didnt use his name because I worried people would comment to talk shit about him and he would see. Well a friend of mine made a comment saying that whoever gave it to me should have thought more about how I would feel to recieve it. I responded basically telling my friend that I wasnt upset about the gift giver, just the gift itself had caused me to relive some stuff I wasnt ready for. But my ex saw and reached out to me saying "oh so your friends think I'm a bad person? I can take the gift back then." Which I tried to argue that I really loved the gift and that I didnt think he was a bad person. I showed him that I had disagreed with my friend, and rhat I wasnt venting about a good thing he did for me, but rather the post was more about my grief for the loss of my pet. The argument basically ended with me saying that I felt I needed to be totally emotionally sterile for his comfort and wasnt allowed to feel my grief publicly, and him saying that I could feel grief but I shouldnt have vagued him because then people could freely comment and judge him since he was nameless in the post. I deleted my post and agreed with him that I probably shouldnt have made the post at all, I apologized and hoped we could move on, but he replied with "dont talk to me" and blocked me on the social media where I made the post. I ended up reaching out again a few days ago (a week from our fight) to apologize for having gone too far during our argument and suggesting we meet in person to talk. He told me that our argument had made him the most manic he had ever been and that he appreciated the option to talk it out in person but he was very angry that I would treat him like that after saying I wanted to maintain a friendship. I apologized again, saying I wish we could be nicer to each other and we havent talked since.
(I'm trying to keep this as neutral as possible, all my friends are on my side but I still feel like it might be because they just never liked him...)
What are these acronyms?
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A Marriage of Convenience - Part 1
Part 2
A Marriage of Convenience Masterlist
Main Masterlist
“You will get married! It’s time to settle down.” Loki had dinner with his parents the night before, and Odin was relentless. To make matters worse, Odin brought the sentiments on the matter into his work life at Valhalla Industries. His father ... .no, his adopted father kept saying it’d look better for him in the company, heavily implying that he would not be considered to be in line to take over the company should he not. Hela had fallen out of the line of succession when she told Odin to fuck off as she married the CEO of a rival company. Thor had skipped out some time before, falling from grace when he married Jane against his father’s wishes. That left Loki. While Loki wanted to tell his adopted father where to go and how to get there, he was the only viable option. After him was the idiot nephew Baulder. While he hated Odin, he despised Baulder. Everything was just handed to his idiot nephew.
Two floors down, Eva Walmsley was in a pickle of her own. She was soft spoken and lacked confidence. While she was a tad taller than the average woman (5’11” at full height), no one in the office could tell as she tended to hunch over a bit as if to hide herself while dressing in clothes that were far from flattering, but they were all she could afford from the thrift shop. On top of that, she’d been living in a shitty studio apartment and had just received a 30 day eviction notice. Where was she going to find the time to look for a new place? Where was she even going to get the funds? Money had been tight.
While Odin paid his employees quite a bit, most of her earnings went to pay the many medical bills left when her brother passed two years ago. Insurance wouldn’t cover most of his treatments as they were experimental, but that didn’t stop them from taking out loans so he could get into those trials. He was her best friend, all she had left in the world and couldn’t find it in herself to regret a single penny borrowed from the bank even when the treatments stopped working because it meant that she knew they’d tried absolutely everything they could. It was a few weeks after his passing that she got a job at Valhalla Industries as a glorified receptionist. Mostly she would help with admin work in the office, but occasionally she would be sent to assist higher ups when they were drowning in paperwork. Mostly, Odin had her assigned at random to Loki to try and use her as a spy, to see how his son was really doing. He never seemed to accept her reports that Loki was doing well, but he kept sending her to him anyway as she was the only one Loki hadn’t sent away crying yet.
Loki was the only person she’d ever told about her brother. They’d become unlikely friends, especially when she told him why Odin kept sending her specifically to help Loki. No one befriends a receptionist, but he did. Initially, he may have harbored some judgments towards her for her career choice, perceiving her as highly intelligent; however, as he got to know her better, his critiques softened and eventually vanished altogether. Eva wanted so much more in life, but circumstances forbade it, and the thought of it made his heart break a little more each time.
He’d often seen her wearing what even he considered to be an extremely beautiful and expensive ring. When he finally asked about it, all she told him was “it was my mother’s,” never offering any other piece of information.
That was until one day when he no longer saw her wearing it. She’d never tell him, but Eva was short on the amount of money she needed for an unanticipated balloon payment to the bank and reluctantly sold it to a jeweler who paid quite a bit but not as much as she needed. She could either cover rent or the balloon payment, but not both in their entirety. So it surprised Loki to see her no longer coming in with it on her finger. It seemed to be a permanent installation on her right hand. He was further surprised at her ask for additional hours if they were available but wouldn’t say as to why. It wasn’t hard to tell that she needed the money, and Loki knew she was too proud to just accept it as a gift. Despite that, he tried to offer and was not surprised when she refused. So instead, he had her help with some menial paperwork, paying her overtime out of his own pocket.
Loki had seen the light in her eyes fade, more so after the disappearance of her ring. When he asked where it was, she gave excuses such as it was misplaced, it was being cleaned, or flat out ‘I didn’t feel like wearing it today.’ Something was definitely going on.
Today was the worst state he’d seen her in since she started working at his father’s company. Yet again, Eva refused to tell him why. Loki pulled her into his office and closed the door to give them some privacy.
“Something is going on with you, and I’d like you to tell me what’s got you so downtrodden?” Eva knew she couldn’t evade Loki’s questioning much longer and finally relented. “You remember what I told you about the loan for the medical bills from my brother’s experimental treatments?” Loki nodded. “Well, there was a balloon payment I wasn’t aware of. I didn’t have enough money to pay for it. So I sold my mother’s ring.”
The mystery of the missing ring was finally solved. “I sense that’s not the end of this story,” he said and encouraged her to continue when she shook her head. “Even with the extra money from selling it, I couldn't cover both the balloon payment and rent. The bank wouldn’t work with me on it. So I paid the balloon payment and hoped my landlord would understand.”
Ah, the pieces were finally coming together. “And I’m guessing he didn’t take it well?” Once again, Eva shook her head. “The only thing he gave me was an eviction notice unless I can figure out how to pay him for the next 3 months up front.” This angered him. The idiotic buffoon couldn’t see it in his heart to give her more time? Suddenly, he had an idea. Something that would solve both of their problems.
“I have a proposition for you. I want you to hear me out before you say anything.”
“Alright.”
He took a deep breath before continuing. “My father has been hounding me to get married.” Her eyes went wide, but he held his hand up in a silent request to allow him to continue. “I am to take over the company; however, this can only occur should I take on a wife. I understand you are in financial difficulty along with your horrid landlord evicting you. So here’s what I propose. We would marry, likely an elopement. I’ll pay off any and all outstanding debts you have as well as fund you a new wardrobe. I’m not saying you look bad. It’s more that once we marry, you will be expected by my parents to dress to a certain standard. You’ll also receive a monthly stipend as well as a bonus at the end of the contract in which we will divorce amicably. I will even provide you with your own, fully paid for apartment which you can have furnished however you’d like, also paid for by me.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?” Loki knew she was right. Who in their right mind would do this? “I’m well aware of how insane this sounds, but it would solve both of our problems.” There was no denying it.
Loki wouldn’t tell her how much he’d leave in an account for her, but he would make sure it would be more than enough to cover tuition, books, and everything else she’d need covered should she wish to go back to university. Or she could use the money to finally travel the world like she’d wanted. Either way, it was up to her what to do with the money.
"As today is Tuesday, I suggest taking the next few days to carefully consider the matter and let me know your decision by the end of the week. Would that arrangement be acceptable to you?" She nodded.
The next evening, the landlord poked her about the eviction notice, trying to get her out sooner rather than later and didn’t take it well when she told him to fuck off. That next morning found her going directly to Loki’s office to accept his offer. “The agreed period of time begins today.” Before signing the paperwork he’d prepared in anticipation of her answer, they went over some key points. “In public, we would act as a loving couple. This will include hand holding, some kissing, and other forms of affection; however, I will not force you to do anything untowards. If something makes you uncomfortable, I expect you to tell me so we may rectify it moving forward. I may be an ass, but I am not a cad.” They discussed if they would have a proper wedding or an elopement. Whichever they chose, he said he would cover all the costs. Twenty minutes later, they came to an agreement, and both signed the papers. That evening, Loki arranged movers to help her pack and move into his place, giving her a bedroom of her own.
While the situation was not ideal, she would get to be married (at least on paper) to the man for whom she harbored a deep crush.
Dividers by @jiyascepter
Taglist: @vbecker10
Taglist is open!
#loki x y/n#loki x you#loki x reader#loki x ofc#loki#loki x original female character#loki x original character#loki fanfiction#loki fanfction#loki fanfic#tom hiddleston#twh#tomhiddleston#twhiddleston#damn hiddleston#hiddlestoners#thomas william hiddleston#hiddleston#hiddles#lulubelle814
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fleein the south part II
hi, i'm ri & i'm an autistic nonbinary trans guy-lite-ish person. 4 years ago i moved out to denver from mississippi (where i was born & raised) & immediately had a massive improvement in my quality of life. i was able to access medical & psychiatric care, my career stabilized, people were addressin me with correct terms for the most part, & i was startin to feel like life had finally begun
unfortunately when the lease ran out on our house end of summer last year my roommates decided not to renew, & then the people who were gonna be my new roommates backed out last minute. in a panic i looked for other options but with time runnin short & top surgery approachin i decided to recover at a friend's house & move back to mississippi once my surgeon cleared me to travel cross country so i could regroup somewhere i figured would be less expensive & at least somewhat familiar
that, friends, was a very costly & painful mistake! every single problem that made me wanna move away in the first place has only exacerbated!
i'm comin up on 8 months post top surgery, i have a beard, & i'm still gettin called ma'am/she/her. trump flags & signs still adorn many yards/porches here. hatred & bigotry run rampant in local politics. the other day i didn't even enter one of the convenience stores in the town where i live when i stopped by because they had posted a very thinly veiled racist sign on the door
when i arrived back here i was not even a full month outta surgery & i had a minor complication, so i went to the emergency room cause what else was i sposed to do? applied for charity as i had around $100 to my name at that point, which i THINK? got approved? also applied for mississippi medicaid the same day, which got denied almost outright as i have no children. so i've been uninsured since november & rationin the 3 month supply of my psych/migraine meds i received before leavin colorado for goin on 7 months. never mind bein able to access hrt!
job prospects here are Not Great! i've had to collect unemployment for a while as i cannot for the life of me find a full time job with a livin wage. otherwise i literally cannot make ends meet as the jobs i've held so far down here are payin average 50% or less of what i was makin in denver. even with the part time gigs i've had i have yet to crack 30hr/wk on any kind of regular basis
housin is an absolute shitshow. my lease is up 1 july (got a month extension) & i've been searchin everywhere for an affordable place of my own or at least a good roommate. the more affordable studio/1bd apartments go for around $700 & up, but most have income requirements of 2.5-3x the monthly rent which, considerin previous point abt wages, is near impossible. roommate listins are available but the majority are questionable at best & seekin a live-in bangmaid at worst
with all these considerations i spent the past few weeks feelin worse & worse lookin for somewhere close to the job i currently have. the leases are like 6mo-1y so i was picturin another year down here & how i was gonna survive, let alone thrive. my thoughts got darker & darker. i'd wake up in the mornin & be sad/disappointed i'd survived the night
this is no way to live
i snapped a few days ago. said to myself "if i'm destined to struggle wherever i go, i'd rather do it somewhere i actually Wanted to be in the first place" & started applyin for housin in denver. waitin to hear back from my first option & have secured a backup with a friend with a spare room for 6mo in case that falls through
right now i need help gettin the hell out! i've got first month's rent already put back, i can continue to collect unemployment until i land a good job in denver, & i'm already reachin out to find somewhere to work. i just don't have anywhere to go for another month or two to save the money i'll need to travel almost 1200mi (~1900km) back to colorado. i'll need at least $500 to make gas/food happen durin the time it will take me to get there, & i need it by the first of july (38 days from day of postin)
please help me escape!!!
ca: $jupitervega
vmo: jupitervega
ppal
please please please donate whatever you're able! pls boost!
thank u so much for readin, pls have an item from my emergency happy photo folder for yr enjoyment
#emergency#pls help#pls boost#emergency move#emergency transport#fundraising#help#mutual aid#mutual fund#direct action#direct aid#help pls#emergency assistance#time sensitive
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